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, jokes & funny pix about Bollywood - pls add if you have any..

 
 
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> Bollywood Humor, jokes & funny pix about Bollywood - pls add if you have any..
Sharmila-Sweet
post Jan 27 2010, 03:30 PM
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If Amir acts in Chak De India

1.Aamir would have kissed preety sabarwal.

2.Aamir would have stolen d script from jaideep sahni/smit amin and claim that he was the director of cdi.

3.Aamir would have kissed vidya sharma with several retakes.

4. In the scene where bindia naik seduces kabir khan....aamir wud have slapped bindia naik so as to create more dramatic feel.

5. Aamir would have kissed aliya bose.

6. When aamir first appears in front of the players he would be dressed as joker and would be entertaining the grls with a song.

7. In interval scene Aamir will participate along with the girls to kick boys' asses.

8.Finals would be between India and pakistan and not India and australia so as to create even more dramatic feel

11. In the beginning kabir khan would be a cynic/immatured/carefree hockey player and later due to circumstances, would transform into a gr8 coach

12. ....and finally after match finishes Aamir would marry komal(height factor)

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when you are just an option in their life
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Sharmila-Sweet
post Feb 17 2010, 12:51 PM
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pic joke biggrin.gif


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Sharmila-Sweet
post Feb 18 2010, 04:57 PM
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Before Amitabh Bachchan's contract for Kaun Banega Crorepati Star plus has taken some auditions for anchor, here are a few new auditions for the show.

Nana Patekar : Jaldi se jawab bol. Sahi jawab tere ko lakhpati bana dalega. Galat jawab tere ko hijda bana dega.

Shatrughan Sinha : Khamosh ! Bihari babu ke saamne zaban chalata hai. Tera cheque phaad ke phek doonga.

Dharmendra : Galat jawab ! Kutte Kameene, main tera khoon pee jaoonga.

Amrish Puri : Sahi jawab ! Mogambo khush hua!

Amjad Khan : Kitne options the Chaar! Soover ke bachchon! Chaar chaar options! Bahut na-insaafi hai! Dhish-keoin Dhish-keoin! 50-50 kar ke do galat jawab main uda diye. Ab bol, tera kaya hoga kaaliya?

Sanjay Dutt : Aye item log, kaye ko udhar khada hai? Idhar aake mere pass baith jaa. Kya be chikne - tere ko aata hai to bol dal varna main tere ko idhar-eech phod dalega.

Raj Kumar : Jaani, huuum, hhhuuuum hote to apne dost ko phone kar ke sawaal pooch lete.

Jagdeep : Bole to Soorma Bhopali - meri jeb ho gayi khaali. Mere pass to koi cheque nahin hain. Arre mujhko jaane do.

Mithun Chakraborty : Eeyaeech ! Tu audience poll karega? Aye, yahan ke public ke paas time nahin hai. Kya nahin hai? Time nahin hai.

Kesto Mukherji : Hee-heek. Hee-yaik. Apne ko sab kuch do-do dikh rahela hai. Hee-heek. Yeh aath options kidhar se aa gaye Hee-yok. Apne ko bahut chad gayeli hai.

Jeetendra : Lekin kyoon? ( groan ) Aap aisa kyoon kar rahe hai? (whine) Aap kabhi bhi game chod kar jaa sakte hai.

Ashok Kumar : To abhi aapne yeh dekha ( wheeze ), ki yahan se Delhi ke Ramesh Kumar ( gasp ), yahan se Rs. 20,000 leke chale gaye. ( groan ). Kal aur dus logon ko leke phir milenge Hum Log ( croak )

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Sharmila-Sweet
post Jul 13 2010, 05:09 PM
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If Amitabh Bachchan's movies are being advertised as 'Ab tak

Bachchan' how would his son Abhishek Bachchan's movies be

advertised say 20 years from now- "Ab Tak Dhakkan".

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AzgarKhan
post Jul 13 2010, 09:22 PM
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QUOTE(Sharmila-Sweet @ Jul 13 2010, 05:09 PM) *
If Amitabh Bachchan's movies are being advertised as 'Ab tak

Bachchan' how would his son Abhishek Bachchan's movies be

advertised say 20 years from now- "Ab Tak Dhakkan".


LOL @ Ab tak dhakkan laugh.gif laugh.gif

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Sharmila-Sweet
post Oct 7 2010, 02:31 PM
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Check this out tongue1.gif




http://www.thevigilidiot.com/2010/10/07/anjaana-anjaani/


Anjaani Anjaani

This post has been edited by Sharmila-Sweet: Oct 7 2010, 02:52 PM


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Sharmila-Sweet
post Nov 24 2010, 12:05 PM
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We don’t want to imply that Rajnikanth’s jokes are more famous than his movies. But let’s face it how many Rajni movies have you actually seen? And now count how many jokes you have come by - through sms or email forwards. Surely, much, much more! Somehow his jokes turn out to be great LOL moments (read: stress-busters).


We list our top 10.

Rajinikanth doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.
Rajinikanth killed the dead sea.
If you spell ‘Rajanikant’ wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajinikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”
Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano
Rajnikanth once wrote a cheque, the bank bounced!
Micheal Jordan to Rajini: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you?
Rajni: Rascala; how do you think the earth spins!?
Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald’s, and got it.
If Rajnikant was born 100 years earlier, British would have fought to get independence from India.
When Rajnikant logs on to facebook.com, facebook updates its status message!
Rajni once killed 20 men just by saying "BANG"
Rajinikanth knows Victoria’s secret.
Rajinikanth can divide by zero.
Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.
When Rajinikanth gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.


http://idiva.com/news-entertainment/top-10...anth-jokes/2455

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Sharmila-Sweet
post Jul 15 2011, 11:30 AM
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John Abraham was driving down the street in a sweat because he

had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking place.



Looking up toward heaven, he said “Lord, take pity on me.

If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the

rest of my life and give up tequila.”

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

John looked up again and said,

“Never mind. I found one.”

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Sharmila-Sweet
post Oct 25 2011, 10:37 AM
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Amir Khan and RA-1 laugh.gif


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Sharmila-Sweet
post May 21 2012, 12:14 PM
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Shah Rukh's ban tickles funny bone of online community

TNN | May 20, 2012, 12.00AM IST

SRK's Wankhede ban might have a 'Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa' status, but here's what the online janta thinks about King Khan and his future...

Banning SRK from Wankhede is like...

Banning Gautam Gambhir from Mehboob Studios

Banning Sachin Tendulkar from Yash Raj Films

Sending an MMS and stopping it from talking

How is it going to make any difference?

Banning SRK from Wankhede would lead to...

SRK banning Riteish Deshmukh from Mannat

SRK slapping Riteish whenever he gets the chance

Genelia's disappointment at being thrown out of the Khan camp even before getting a chance to work with him. Uff, yeh in-laws!

Neha Dhupia changing her infamous statement from 'Only sex and SRK sell', to 'Only sex and bans sell'

Aamir Khan talking about 'atrocities on kids on the play ground' as an issue on this week's Satyamev Jayate

SRK climbing up the income tax building's terrace to watch the matches. Pehle uspe Dish sawaar tha, ab woh Dish par sawar hai!

Riteish singing with tears in his eyes, 'Papa toh band bajaayein'

SRK changing the script of Ra.One 2 - the villain will bomb the MCA stadium before G.One comes in and saves the rest of the Mumbai

And what if?

Ambani's son had picked a fight at Wankhede with MCA officials? By now, Vilasrao Deshmukh would have been banned for five years, and not SRK

But you see

Even if they allege bad behaviour, it's stupid! Do MPs get banned from Parliament when they fling microphones? - Suhel Seth

This cartoon banning is going too far now they have banned SRK from Wankhede - Dilip Cherian

Ban ne bigad di jodi!

Poor, poor Riteish Deshmukh. We can only imagine the torment he must be going through right now. With his films usually bombing, his only hope of relevance in the film industry was being under the benign shadow of King Khan. But now that papa Vilasrao Deshmukh has, literally, bajao-ed his band and banned SRK, Riteish's only chances of ever sharing screen space with Shah Rukh - at award functions - is also nixed. So, here are some pictures of them in happier times. Have a close look, for these may well be relegated to the pages of nostalgia now!

PS: With Twitter exploding after the episode, guess who has been blissfully (or conveniently) ignorant? Riteish, perhaps because he is away in Goa, or perhaps because he daren't take sides between papa and Khan, only tweeted about Goa's "charm", and Abhishek's Bol Bachchan ("looking super big-bro, can't wait"). Silence, in this case, is golden.

- Compiled by Diksha Kamra

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