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A Joke

, Not For Minors ;)

 
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> A Joke, Not For Minors ;)
hildebrand
post May 26 2009, 12:06 AM
Post #31


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I was on my way out of the house to meet with a cantankerous client, and I was dreading it. The look on my face must have given me away because my four-year-old daughter asked what was wrong.
"I'm going to meet a woman who always yells at Daddy," I told her.
"Oh," she said. "Say hi to Mom."

Best Regards
Hildebrand


Samandar ko Baandhe Aisa Koi Ghaat Nahi, Kadmon ko thaame aisi koi baat nahin Patli si dhaara samundar mein milti hai, milkar ke kho jaati hai, ghaat ghaat hi rehte hain woh samundar ho jaati hai, karlo jo chaaho, banlo jo chaaho

“Geet boodhe nahin hote, unke chehron pe jhurriyan nahi girti
wo palte rahte hain, chalte rahte hain
sun-ne walo ki umra badal jaati hai….”

Please Visit
http://www.anmolfankaar.com: A website dedicated to Artists of the Indian Subcontinent. Now follow it on twitter too. http://twitter.com/anmolfankaar

http://www.shamshadbegum.com : A website dedicated to the Living Legend Shamshad Begum. May She Live Long.

http://www.madamnoorjehan.com : A website dedicated to Madam Noorjehan

http://www.geetadutt.com : A website dedicated to Geeta Dutt Nee Roy
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hildebrand
post May 26 2009, 12:08 AM
Post #32


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A customer at our bookstore asked me, "Do you have the original book Romeo and Juliet? My daughter needs it for school, and all I can find is the play."

Best Regards
Hildebrand


Samandar ko Baandhe Aisa Koi Ghaat Nahi, Kadmon ko thaame aisi koi baat nahin Patli si dhaara samundar mein milti hai, milkar ke kho jaati hai, ghaat ghaat hi rehte hain woh samundar ho jaati hai, karlo jo chaaho, banlo jo chaaho

“Geet boodhe nahin hote, unke chehron pe jhurriyan nahi girti
wo palte rahte hain, chalte rahte hain
sun-ne walo ki umra badal jaati hai….”

Please Visit
http://www.anmolfankaar.com: A website dedicated to Artists of the Indian Subcontinent. Now follow it on twitter too. http://twitter.com/anmolfankaar

http://www.shamshadbegum.com : A website dedicated to the Living Legend Shamshad Begum. May She Live Long.

http://www.madamnoorjehan.com : A website dedicated to Madam Noorjehan

http://www.geetadutt.com : A website dedicated to Geeta Dutt Nee Roy
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hildebrand
post May 26 2009, 12:09 AM
Post #33


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The biggest loser at my weight-loss club was an elderly woman. "How'd you do it?" we asked. "Easy," she said. "Every night I take my teeth out at six o'clock."

Best Regards
Hildebrand


Samandar ko Baandhe Aisa Koi Ghaat Nahi, Kadmon ko thaame aisi koi baat nahin Patli si dhaara samundar mein milti hai, milkar ke kho jaati hai, ghaat ghaat hi rehte hain woh samundar ho jaati hai, karlo jo chaaho, banlo jo chaaho

“Geet boodhe nahin hote, unke chehron pe jhurriyan nahi girti
wo palte rahte hain, chalte rahte hain
sun-ne walo ki umra badal jaati hai….”

Please Visit
http://www.anmolfankaar.com: A website dedicated to Artists of the Indian Subcontinent. Now follow it on twitter too. http://twitter.com/anmolfankaar

http://www.shamshadbegum.com : A website dedicated to the Living Legend Shamshad Begum. May She Live Long.

http://www.madamnoorjehan.com : A website dedicated to Madam Noorjehan

http://www.geetadutt.com : A website dedicated to Geeta Dutt Nee Roy
User is offlineProfile CardPM
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simplefable
post May 26 2009, 10:48 PM
Post #34


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laugh.gif the way to fitness told in a simpler way !!
here is one..

When a physician remarked on a new patient's extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, "High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family."
"Your mother's side or your father's?" I asked.
"Neither," he replied. "It's from my wife's family."
"Oh, come now," I said. "How could your wife's family give you high blood pressure?"
He sighed. "You oughta meet 'em sometime, Doc!"

After silence that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
Aldous Huxley



"Waqt ne kiya...Kya haseen sitm...Tum rahe na tum..Hum rahe na hum.."



geetadutt

noorjehan

shamshadbegum

Anmol Fankaar
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hildebrand
post May 27 2009, 01:12 AM
Post #35


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QUOTE(simplefable @ May 26 2009, 10:48 PM) *

laugh.gif the way to fitness told in a simpler way !!
here is one..

When a physician remarked on a new patient's extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, "High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family."
"Your mother's side or your father's?" I asked.
"Neither," he replied. "It's from my wife's family."
"Oh, come now," I said. "How could your wife's family give you high blood pressure?"
He sighed. "You oughta meet 'em sometime, Doc!"


tongue1.gif

Reminds me of one.

Friend to another: Want to come to the pub with us?
Him: No, I can't. There's a law against that.
Friend: A law?
Him: Yes, My Mother-in-Law!

Best Regards
Hildebrand


Samandar ko Baandhe Aisa Koi Ghaat Nahi, Kadmon ko thaame aisi koi baat nahin Patli si dhaara samundar mein milti hai, milkar ke kho jaati hai, ghaat ghaat hi rehte hain woh samundar ho jaati hai, karlo jo chaaho, banlo jo chaaho

“Geet boodhe nahin hote, unke chehron pe jhurriyan nahi girti
wo palte rahte hain, chalte rahte hain
sun-ne walo ki umra badal jaati hai….”

Please Visit
http://www.anmolfankaar.com: A website dedicated to Artists of the Indian Subcontinent. Now follow it on twitter too. http://twitter.com/anmolfankaar

http://www.shamshadbegum.com : A website dedicated to the Living Legend Shamshad Begum. May She Live Long.

http://www.madamnoorjehan.com : A website dedicated to Madam Noorjehan

http://www.geetadutt.com : A website dedicated to Geeta Dutt Nee Roy
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
simplefable
post May 27 2009, 07:47 AM
Post #36


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laugh.gif laugh.gif

Do you know the famous anagram of Mother in law?? Woman Hitler !

******************************************************
Two lifeguards are working together on a beach when one of them notices sharks circling a woman who has drifted out a little too far. He begins to get up to race to her rescue when the other lifeguard grabs his arm and holds him back.
The first lifeguard says,"Why are you holding me back? We have to go save that woman!"
To which the other replies, "Don't worry. That woman is my mother-in-law."
"Are you trying to kill her?"
"Although the idea may be tempting, that is not my intent. Just watch."
With that, the sharks organize themselves beneath the woman, and ride her on their backs all the way to shore, safely depositing her.
"What in the world gave you the notion that would happen," asked the first lifeguard.
"Professional courtesy.

After silence that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
Aldous Huxley



"Waqt ne kiya...Kya haseen sitm...Tum rahe na tum..Hum rahe na hum.."



geetadutt

noorjehan

shamshadbegum

Anmol Fankaar
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hildebrand
post May 27 2009, 02:04 PM
Post #37


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laugh.gif

Best Regards
Hildebrand


Samandar ko Baandhe Aisa Koi Ghaat Nahi, Kadmon ko thaame aisi koi baat nahin Patli si dhaara samundar mein milti hai, milkar ke kho jaati hai, ghaat ghaat hi rehte hain woh samundar ho jaati hai, karlo jo chaaho, banlo jo chaaho

“Geet boodhe nahin hote, unke chehron pe jhurriyan nahi girti
wo palte rahte hain, chalte rahte hain
sun-ne walo ki umra badal jaati hai….”

Please Visit
http://www.anmolfankaar.com: A website dedicated to Artists of the Indian Subcontinent. Now follow it on twitter too. http://twitter.com/anmolfankaar

http://www.shamshadbegum.com : A website dedicated to the Living Legend Shamshad Begum. May She Live Long.

http://www.madamnoorjehan.com : A website dedicated to Madam Noorjehan

http://www.geetadutt.com : A website dedicated to Geeta Dutt Nee Roy
User is offlineProfile CardPM
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Faraaj73
post May 27 2009, 02:32 PM
Post #38


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I've heard variations of these mother-in-law jokes but with lawyers instead e.g. the shark one. Here is a cruel lawyer joke....

Q.:What is the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
A.: A leech will drop off a dead body.


Kind Regards
Faraaj



Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo

There is only one better thing than music - live music. - Jacek Bukowski

I hate music, especially when it's played. - Jimmy Durante

No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible. - W. H. Auden
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hildebrand
post May 27 2009, 11:29 PM
Post #39


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yes Americans love lawyer and blonde jokes. They seem to have made most of them. smile.gif

Best Regards
Hildebrand


Samandar ko Baandhe Aisa Koi Ghaat Nahi, Kadmon ko thaame aisi koi baat nahin Patli si dhaara samundar mein milti hai, milkar ke kho jaati hai, ghaat ghaat hi rehte hain woh samundar ho jaati hai, karlo jo chaaho, banlo jo chaaho

“Geet boodhe nahin hote, unke chehron pe jhurriyan nahi girti
wo palte rahte hain, chalte rahte hain
sun-ne walo ki umra badal jaati hai….”

Please Visit
http://www.anmolfankaar.com: A website dedicated to Artists of the Indian Subcontinent. Now follow it on twitter too. http://twitter.com/anmolfankaar

http://www.shamshadbegum.com : A website dedicated to the Living Legend Shamshad Begum. May She Live Long.

http://www.madamnoorjehan.com : A website dedicated to Madam Noorjehan

http://www.geetadutt.com : A website dedicated to Geeta Dutt Nee Roy
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
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Faraaj73
post May 28 2009, 03:48 PM
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Here's one about gold-diggers...

A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond ring he had ever seen. He asked her about it.
“This is the Klopman diamond,” she said. “It is beautiful, but there is a terrible curse that goes with it.”

“What’s the curse?” the man asked.

“Mr. Klopman.”


Kind Regards
Faraaj



Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo

There is only one better thing than music - live music. - Jacek Bukowski

I hate music, especially when it's played. - Jimmy Durante

No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible. - W. H. Auden
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hildebrand
post May 28 2009, 04:38 PM
Post #41


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QUOTE(Faraaj73 @ May 28 2009, 03:48 PM) *

Here's one about gold-diggers...

A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond ring he had ever seen. He asked her about it.
“This is the Klopman diamond,” she said. “It is beautiful, but there is a terrible curse that goes with it.”

“What’s the curse?” the man asked.

“Mr. Klopman.”

rotate1.gif

Best Regards
Hildebrand


Samandar ko Baandhe Aisa Koi Ghaat Nahi, Kadmon ko thaame aisi koi baat nahin Patli si dhaara samundar mein milti hai, milkar ke kho jaati hai, ghaat ghaat hi rehte hain woh samundar ho jaati hai, karlo jo chaaho, banlo jo chaaho

“Geet boodhe nahin hote, unke chehron pe jhurriyan nahi girti
wo palte rahte hain, chalte rahte hain
sun-ne walo ki umra badal jaati hai….”

Please Visit
http://www.anmolfankaar.com: A website dedicated to Artists of the Indian Subcontinent. Now follow it on twitter too. http://twitter.com/anmolfankaar

http://www.shamshadbegum.com : A website dedicated to the Living Legend Shamshad Begum. May She Live Long.

http://www.madamnoorjehan.com : A website dedicated to Madam Noorjehan

http://www.geetadutt.com : A website dedicated to Geeta Dutt Nee Roy
User is offlineProfile CardPM
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Faraaj73
post May 30 2009, 05:52 PM
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Ask Jesus
I saw a road sign that said, "Need help? Ask Jesus - 1-800-555-3787."

So I did.

Twenty minutes later a Mexican showed up with his tow truck.


Kind Regards
Faraaj



Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo

There is only one better thing than music - live music. - Jacek Bukowski

I hate music, especially when it's played. - Jimmy Durante

No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible. - W. H. Auden
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Faraaj73
post May 30 2009, 05:54 PM
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A police officer stops a car for speeding. The officer walks up and says, "Son what's your name?"

The man replies, "My name is Tyrone."

The officer says, "What's your whole name?"

Tyrone replies, "What you need my ho's name for? She ain't even in da car."


Kind Regards
Faraaj



Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo

There is only one better thing than music - live music. - Jacek Bukowski

I hate music, especially when it's played. - Jimmy Durante

No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible. - W. H. Auden
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simplefable
post May 30 2009, 08:02 PM
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laugh.gif laugh.gif

here is an actual saying written on the parapet wall of a well near my home..

" I am the way and the path and the truth. Come un to me for eternity"

After silence that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
Aldous Huxley



"Waqt ne kiya...Kya haseen sitm...Tum rahe na tum..Hum rahe na hum.."



geetadutt

noorjehan

shamshadbegum

Anmol Fankaar
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Faraaj73
post May 31 2009, 04:56 AM
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I just got back from a muslim birthday party...................pass the parcel was over quick....


Kind Regards
Faraaj



Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo

There is only one better thing than music - live music. - Jacek Bukowski

I hate music, especially when it's played. - Jimmy Durante

No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible. - W. H. Auden
User is offlineProfile CardPM
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