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A Joke

, Not For Minors ;)

 
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> A Joke, Not For Minors ;)
bawlachintu
post Apr 26 2009, 01:16 PM
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Best way to get money from any women…

“Hey, Mom,” asked Puppy “can you give me twenty dollars?”

“Certainly not.”

“If you do,” he went on, “I’ll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop.”

His mother’s ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. “Well? What did he say?”

He said, ‘Hey, Marie, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow.”

This post has been edited by bawlachintu: May 27 2009, 11:31 PM


Here is the best singer of universe

"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." -George Bernard Shaw ."

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Faraaj73
post May 4 2009, 04:24 PM
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After 20 years of development, the Japanese have created the fastest camera in the world. Its so fast, it can photograph a woman with her mouth closed.....


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Faraaj



Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo

There is only one better thing than music - live music. - Jacek Bukowski

I hate music, especially when it's played. - Jimmy Durante

No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible. - W. H. Auden
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bawlachintu
post May 4 2009, 08:22 PM
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QUOTE(Faraaj73 @ May 4 2009, 04:24 PM) *

After 20 years of development, the Japanese have created the fastest camera in the world. Its so fast, it can photograph a woman with her mouth closed.....

biggrin.gif I would like to buy one wub.gif laugh.gif


Here is the best singer of universe

"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." -George Bernard Shaw ."

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Faraaj73
post May 5 2009, 03:09 PM
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Did you hear about the look-a-like competition in China? Everybody won....


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Faraaj



Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo

There is only one better thing than music - live music. - Jacek Bukowski

I hate music, especially when it's played. - Jimmy Durante

No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible. - W. H. Auden
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Faraaj73
post May 5 2009, 03:11 PM
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Romance without finance ain't got no chance. - Charlie Parker

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl. - Stephen Leacock

Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it. - Mel Brooks

Men seldom makes passes, at women who wear glasses. - Dorothy Parker

This post has been edited by Faraaj73: May 5 2009, 03:11 PM


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Faraaj



Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo

There is only one better thing than music - live music. - Jacek Bukowski

I hate music, especially when it's played. - Jimmy Durante

No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible. - W. H. Auden
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bawlachintu
post May 6 2009, 03:49 PM
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QUOTE(Faraaj73 @ May 5 2009, 03:11 PM) *

Romance without finance ain't got no chance. - Charlie Parker

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl. - Stephen Leacock

Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it. - Mel Brooks

Men seldom makes passes, at women who wear glasses. - Dorothy Parker

laugh.gif cool.gif biggrin.gif


Here is the best singer of universe

"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." -George Bernard Shaw ."

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Faraaj73
post May 6 2009, 04:25 PM
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REDNECK
A redneck is driving down a back road in Georgia. A sign in front of a restaurant reads: HAPPY HOUR SPECIAL: Lobster Tail and Beer.

"Lord almighty" he says to himself, "my three favourite things!"


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Faraaj



Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo

There is only one better thing than music - live music. - Jacek Bukowski

I hate music, especially when it's played. - Jimmy Durante

No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible. - W. H. Auden
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Faraaj73
post May 6 2009, 04:26 PM
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How do you know you're living in Tennessee?

You get married for the third time and have the same in-laws.


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Faraaj



Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo

There is only one better thing than music - live music. - Jacek Bukowski

I hate music, especially when it's played. - Jimmy Durante

No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible. - W. H. Auden
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bawlachintu
post May 6 2009, 08:07 PM
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As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.


Here is the best singer of universe

"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." -George Bernard Shaw ."

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Faraaj73
post May 8 2009, 04:23 PM
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QUOTE(bawlachintu @ May 7 2009, 12:37 AM) *

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

BC

Thats not a joke - its actually a brilliant observation of human psyche!!!

What follows is a joke that is completely oblivious to the human condition tongue1.gif


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Faraaj



Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo

There is only one better thing than music - live music. - Jacek Bukowski

I hate music, especially when it's played. - Jimmy Durante

No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible. - W. H. Auden
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Faraaj73
post May 8 2009, 04:25 PM
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EYE TEST
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.

The optician showed him a card with the letters:

'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

"Can you read this?" the optician asked.

"Read it?" the Polack replied, "I know the guy!"


Kind Regards
Faraaj



Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo

There is only one better thing than music - live music. - Jacek Bukowski

I hate music, especially when it's played. - Jimmy Durante

No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible. - W. H. Auden
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Faraaj73
post May 8 2009, 04:28 PM
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OFFENSIVE POLISH JOKE - the previous one was tame!

Two Polacks were driving east across the country. When they got to Texas they saw a sign that read "CLEAN RESTROOMS AHEAD," so when they got to the filling station, they pulled in, got out of their car, and started cleaning the restrooms!

As they traveled further east, they found it difficult to make any progress because there were so many "CLEAN RESTROOMS AHEAD" signs along the way.

When they finally arrived in Alabama, they came across a sign that read "WANTED!!! Two Mexican males for rape!"

The two Polacks looked at each other and thought, "Damn! those Mexicans get all the good jobs!"


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Faraaj



Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo

There is only one better thing than music - live music. - Jacek Bukowski

I hate music, especially when it's played. - Jimmy Durante

No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible. - W. H. Auden
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behenji.turned.mod
post May 8 2009, 05:00 PM
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QUOTE(Faraaj73 @ May 8 2009, 04:25 PM) *

EYE TEST
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.

The optician showed him a card with the letters:

'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

"Can you read this?" the optician asked.

"Read it?" the Polack replied, "I know the guy!"



rotfl
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simplefable
post May 8 2009, 05:07 PM
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Looking the other way..here is one funny one. smile.gif

A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner. The woman took out her billfold, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some chocolate with it instead of dinner?” “No,” I had to stop chocolate years ago, the homeless woman replied.

Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?” the woman asked. “No,” I don’t waste time shopping, the homeless woman said. “I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.”

Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?” the woman asked.

“Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless woman. “I haven’t had my hair done in 20 years!”

“Well,” said the woman, “I’m not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight.”

The homeless woman was astounded. “Won’t your hubby be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.”

The woman replied, “That’s okay. It’s important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, And chocolate.”

After silence that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
Aldous Huxley



"Waqt ne kiya...Kya haseen sitm...Tum rahe na tum..Hum rahe na hum.."



geetadutt

noorjehan

shamshadbegum

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Faraaj73
post May 9 2009, 09:29 AM
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Frank was excited about his new rifle and decided to try bear hunting. He travelled up to Alaska, spotted a small brown bear and shot it. Soon after there was a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear.

The black bear said, "That was a very bad mistake. That was my cousin. I'm going to give you two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have sex."

After considering briefly, Frank decided to accept the latter alternative. So the black bear had his way with Frank. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge.

He headed out on another trip to Alaska where he found the black bear and shot it dead. Right after, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him.

The grizzly said, "That was a big mistake, Frank. That was my cousin and you've got two choices: Either I maul you to death or we have "rough sex."

Again, Frank thought it was better to cooperate with the grizzly bear than be mauled to death. So the grizzly had his way with Frank. Although he survived, it took several months before Frank fully recovered.

Now Frank was completely outraged, so he headed back to Alaska and managed to track down the grizzly bear and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then, moments later, there was a tap on is shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there.

The polar bear looked at him and said, "Admit it Frank, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"


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Faraaj



Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo

There is only one better thing than music - live music. - Jacek Bukowski

I hate music, especially when it's played. - Jimmy Durante

No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible. - W. H. Auden
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