Mat Ja Mat Ja, Zindagi Tu Mat Jaa, Leena ji speaks Options

[kcp]

http://kishore-kumar.com/?p=294

On this death anniversary, my tributes to the great man that Kishoreda was !

Here is one more opportunity(?) to know Kishore-da more, look from the eyes of his near and dear ones. Leena-ji talking just after his death. Reveals so many facets of Kishoreda - a sensitive family man ! A complete man i.e. !

Leena-ji's had written a song "Mat Jaa Mat Jaa Zindagi Tu Mat Jaa" ( from the recently released album "Le Chalo" ) - wonder if that was written , keeping Kishoreda in mind ?

Life without Kishore
- Leena only days after Kishore Kumar's sudden and tragic death.
Nov 20 1987
Star & Style

She was a newly married bride for exactly ten days. For the next ten months and twenty days she was a nurse to Siddharth Bandodkar. She was a widow after exactly eleven months of marriage to him. That was long ago, before she met Kishore Kumar. After seven and a half blissfully happy married life, she is back to widowhood. And everything seems to come back as in a replay.
When Leena spoke her eyes were still heavy and dazed with grief. She began by saying, "My short-lived first marriage had a very damaging effect on my psyche, in my personality, on my life. Since I had given up films to play a dutiful wife, in the orthodox Bandodkar household, I was left with no work to keep myself occupied. There was no emotional security either. I didn't know what to do with myself and my life. I was a totally shattered woman when I met K.K. way back in January 1979."
"Probably it was compassion and sympathy that made K.K. show a great deal of consideration for me. I was 29, he was 49. he was top form as a singer then with no competition whatsoever from any side. Bit in spite of all his success he too was very lonely. Like me he too yearned for a normal family life. 'Kabhi mere ghar nahin basa!' he used to say. And I fell for that line!
"We got married on 14th March 1979, against the wishes of both our families. A man with three controversial marriages behind him and a grown up son wasn't exactly my parents' idea of an ideal son-in-law. But now looking back I can say, I have no regrets whatsoever.
"Marriage to K.K. brought me status and respectability. It also gave a direction to my life. Earlier, I was so lonely and would have wandered away aimlessly, but for him!
"May man has given me in seven short years what another man couldn't have in an entire lifetime. The treasure of those fond memories will see me through the rest of my life. No, I couldn't possibly think in terms of ending my life. I have an added responsibility now. Not only do I have to bring up Sumeet, who is only five, but Amit too has lost the one person he was most dependent on.
Amit is the ideal son any parent could ever yearn for. It is a great relief to know that Amit will always be there to help me bring up Sumeet. He is so attached to Sumeet that I know I can depend on him to give Sumeet all the love, care and affection that his father would have given, had he not been snatched away so suddenly.
"K.K. was a great romantic. That's why all those romantic songs of his sound so authentic. Everything that he did and said is so fresh in my memory. I still cannot believe that he has gone out of my life forever. It seems like only yesterday when he used to whisper in my ears 'Mere dil mein aaj kya hai, tu kahe to main bata doon. Teri zulf phir sawaroon, teri maang phir saja doon...'
"Prior to our marriage he used to feel like an outcast, an odd man out at any function. While everyone else came with their family, K.K. used to be at a loose end. But after our marriage, the scenario changed totally. Not only did he start attending and enjoying these family get-togethers, but had enough confidence to organize them too. He was so proud to have his own family.
"How I remember all his attempts to make me laugh when I was 'down'. He would try all kinds of antics. Do I need to say that with K.K. in his element around, there would be no room for any dejection ? Today if I feel dejected or depressed, I would rather, not show it - for that's what he did all his life. He never let his unhappiness show. To the world outside, he was an entertainer first and last!
"The only time one realised how serious and sensitive he was, was when he talked philosophically. It was such moments which used to confuse me totally as to who the real K.K. was. The one who was always up to some pranks like a naughty child, or the one who wrote touching lyrics like 'Koi humdum na raha' and 'Aa chal ke tujhe main leke chaloon ek aise gagan ke tale...'
"Frankly I think K.K. was beyond my comprehension. He was such a complex man. On one hand he liked to eat simple, home-cooked food but, on the other hand his idea of a pleasant outing was watching snowfall in Switzerland - with the whole family of course. He loved to involve me in everything he saw or did. I think a man of his sensitivities needed a more mature woman than me, to react and respond on the same level.
"He was proud of me. I do realise a lot of things now when he is no more. Why don't we realise the true worth of a person, when he is still alive? I did tend to take him for granted. He showed he cared for me in so many gentle ways.'
"After our marriage he put me on a pedestal and expected me to live upto his expectations. At first it was strain. But slowly I got used to the idea of adapting to his lifestyle. He expected me to stay at home and look after the house like a traditional Bengali bahu. It called for an adjustment from my side, but it was all worth it. For here was a great human being to share his whole life with me.
" The agreement was to share the rest of our life with each other. Then why did he go away like this? I feel as if we were travelling on a train journey together, but at some unknown station he just upped and got off! Leaving me all alone to fend for myself. I don't even know my destination. You may not believe it but I had become totally dependent on him for everything. I had just left myself, my life in his hands. I followed him blindly with total trust in his judgement and decisions. So much so that he would even decide which colour suited me better or what I should be wearing. But now even the major decisions will have to be taken by me, independently. Will I have the strength to do it? I think, he will always be there as the guiding force through his memories.
"I remember what he had said when my mother was seriously ill. 'Leena have courage and strength. Kahin aise na ho, ek ki jagah do chale jayen!' He taught me to live in the present and for today. He always said, 'You cannot undo what happened yesterday and nor can you foresee what tomorrow has in store for you. So live for today. Take life a day at a time.'
"I realised the true meaning of all that he used to say only on 13th October. People say he was very lucky to have such a painless death. That's not true. He did suffer a great deal of pain. I could see the pain in his eyes as he tried to speak to me but had lost his voice. I know he wasn't ready for death yet. He had so many plans for that very evening, for that day, month, year, for the rest of his life!
"He used to talk of death very often, but when he would see that it upset me, he used to say lightly, 'In my family, all the men live very long. I too won't die before 70 at least!" And then go on to plan his life and not only cross 70 but reach a hundred! Looking back, I wonder if he had some kind of premonition about death and all his talk of living forever was only an act to keep me from worrying. He was a fine actor, after all.
"He was the most versatile singer, everybody says. But nobody knows how committed he was towards his work. He spared no efforts to give his best in every song that he recorded. On many an occasion, it was K.K. who insisted on a retake, even when the music director was satisfied.
" He was an entertainer par excellence. But that's what probably cost him his life. He took his entertainment so seriously that he would just forget he was a heart patient once he was on stage. He would dance, scream and shout - something which would tire even a young and healthy person. If I tried to warn him, he would get angry with me, 'Instead of encouraging me, you are discouraging me. I am not a heart patient.' he would say. Everybody was aware of his two heart attacks back in 1981, only he wanted to forget it.
"Basically, the Ganguly men look far younger than their age, and that applied to my husband also. Not only did he look younger than his age but behaved young as well. He still had a youthful erect walk. In fact, he used to pull me up whenever I slouched.
"According to him, Sumeet's birth was the happiest moment of his life! He had cried like a baby in the hospital itself. No, it wasn't a sense of virility, but it was a realisation of his long-cherished dream of having a normal family life. Isn't it funny that a man who commanded so much power had such an ordinary wish? But that's what he was at heart - an ordinary single man from Khandva.
"Sumeet's arival completed the picture of a'happy family' for us, Sumeet brought motherhood to me. Amit got a kid-brother. Sumeet was the bond that joined all of us. But how unlucky he is to have lost his father at such an young age.
"I do want to try and fulfil some of K.K's dreams. There is so much unfinished work, he has left behind!"
- Sushama