Funny One Liners, Sms's Options

[catch22]

One Liners
☻ If love were to be taxed,
I would be the highest tax payer.


☻you can't buy Love... but you can pay heavily.


☻Common sense is common, but... the use of common sense is uncommon !!!!


☻Promises are like babies, easy to give hard to deliver.


☻You need Money to call someone Honey.


☻My girlfriend told me, I should be more Affectionate, so i got two Girlfriends.


☻We can see more Grafitti's in girls toilet , WHY ?
Because their both hands are free.


☻Definitions :

Home : A place where you can scratch where it itches.

Doctor : A person who cures the ills by pills,
and kills by his bills.

LOVE : Loss Of Valuable Energy

WIFE : Worries Invited For Ever



Funny SMS's

I sent her this SMS:

Without U life is Black not White.
Without U the world has no hope,no light.
Without U I cant go left or right.
Without U I lose my sight.
THANK U MY GLASSES!

I called her 2 or 3 times in 3 days but she
didnot answer.Then I sent her this SMS:

DAYS R 2 BUSY
HOURS R 2 FAST
SECONDS R 2 FEW
BUT THERE IS ALWAYS TIME 4 ME 2 REMEMBER YOU!

I want to tell you a truth...
I like you, in fact I love you.
You are always in my mind,
you are everywhere,I never forget you...
I REALLY ......MISS YOU!


FRIENDS are like stars....
* * * * *
* * * * * *
*....
you do not ALWAYS SEE them
but you know they
are ALWAYS there!!!

☻***NEWSFLASH*** Tell ALL your female friends that i can get 100 tampons for £1
... No Strings attached
...but for a limited period ONLY!
...A ****** good deal!

☻Pleas turn your mobile phone upside down now!!! Hurry
370HSSV 0773H


☻Bride's Dad hands a note to the groom: 'GOODS DELIVERED ARE NOT RETURNABLE.' Groom gave another note back to father: 'CONTRACT VOID IF SEAL IS BROKEN.'


☻I once had One2One with a Virgin, she teased me till i had an Erikson, sucked me til my face went Orange, til I busted my Siemen all over her Nokias!


☻Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?

☻Jesus loves you...everyone else thinks you're an asshole!

☻Inflexibility is the hallmark of the Tiny Mind.

☻Q: Why did the blond get fired from the banana plantation?

A: Because she threw out all the bent ones.

[catch22]

funny sms > humor

It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!

A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!

i tried to call you from a payphone last night. i put my doner card in by mistake, it cost me an arm and a leg!

Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!!

Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty… so the world needs YOU after all!

Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again

[parag_sankla]

Statistics are like bikinis, what they reveal is appealing, but what they conceal is vital.

[parag_sankla]

Choosing a wife


A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.


The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.




The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.


Again, the man is impressed.




The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.




Obviously, the man was impressed.




The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.



Then…………………..

he married the one with the biggest tits.


Men are like that, you know.