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Are You A Narcissist?

 
 
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> Are You A Narcissist?
noorie
post Sep 4 2007, 07:06 PM
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Can you recognize a narcissist?

It is difficult to recognize a narcissist because he (or she) spends all of his time acting, protecting his ego by presenting to the world a false image of himself.
Consequently he becomes a master of deceit. But it is extremely important to be able to recognize people whose behavior is detrimental to their organization's performance.

A narcissist is not capable of putting the organization's needs before his or her own needs.

Researchers have found that a narcissist reacts much more emotionally than a non-narcissist, sometimes with "narcissistic rage" when his (or her) ego is threatened.
Social comparison information is especially salient as the narcissist processes social information in terms of its relevance to the self, that is, he reacts to negative feedback with more anger and aggression and lower self-esteem than a non-narcissist. In fact his mood and self-esteem fluctuations can usually be attributed to social comparison information.

"Overall, individuals high in narcissism displayed amplified responses to social comparison information, experiencing greater positive affect from downward comparisons and greater hostile affect from upward comparisons."
For example, it has been recognized for some time that narcissists prize intellectual performance above almost everything else, so a better qualified work colleague would likely evoke a hostile affect through upward comparison.

Because of a propensity to internalize failure, the narcissist's emotional response to failure is to feel shame, as opposed to guilt felt by people without the disorder. So in order to avoid shame, which the narcissist feels must be avoided at all costs, he externalizes blame for negative events. As he feels someone must be guilty, he almost always attributes blame to others.
Only when his self-esteem is particularly high, perhaps through some positive feedback he has engineered, does he accept blame, and only then if it can be seen as a magnanimous gesture.


A narcissist is someone who is overtly or subtly arrogant, exhibitionistic, vain, manipulative, and greedy for admiration.
Narcissistic rage, character assassination and projection are some of the overt ways in which the narcissist expresses himself.
For example, she may envy a work colleague's beauty, and project her feelings into her colleague by accusing her of being envious. Projection in teams is particularly prevalent.

The denial of remorse and gratitude by the narcissist are two of the more subtle ways used to protect an internal sense of grandiosity.
An example of a narcissist's ability to be subtle might be when he arrives late for a meeting. Rather than offer a sincere apology, he may blame someone else for keeping him talking, thus externalizing the fault ("It's not my fault") and maintaining his sense of grandiosity.

Despite tending to be exhibitionistic, it is very rare to hear a narcissist brag or boast. Instead, he (or she) tends to 'drop' information in the form of an ostensibly ordinary matter-of-fact report, which appears to be intended to elicit admiration without asking for it.

A distinction must be made between 'normal' or 'healthy' narcissism on the one hand and 'pathological' narcissism on the other. We all have some degree and variety of narcissistic delusion which, if it is not too great, is normal and healthy. But the pathological narcissist has a level of delusion that is divorced from reality.

Kernberg used a theoretical frame to differentiate between 'normal' and 'pathological' narcissism, combining ego psychology and object relations theory.

Normal narcissism refers to well integrated representations of the self and others, whilst pathological narcissism relates to an impaired intrapsychic structure with grandiose self-representation and a severe pathology in object relations. Lubit compared 'healthy' and 'destructive' narcissism in relation to their long-term impact on organizations.

The following is an extract from his comparison table.

Characteristics of healthy narcissism

Self-confident: High outward self-confidence in line with reality.

Desire for power, wealth and admiration: May enjoy power.

Relationships: Real concern for others and their ideas; does not exploit or devalue others.

Ability to follow a consistent path: Has values; follows through on plans

Foundation: Healthy childhood with support for self-esteem and appropriate limits on behaviour towards others.

Characteristics of destructive narcissism

Self-confident: Grandiose

Desire for power, wealth and admiration: Pursues power at all costs, lacks normal inhibitions in its pursuit.

Relationships: Concerns limited to expressing socially appropriate response when convenient; devalues and exploits others without remorse.

Ability to follow a constant path: Lacks values; easily bored; often changes course.

Foundation: Traumatic childhood undercutting true sense of self-esteem and/or learning that he / she doesn't need to be considerate of others.

It is rare for a narcissistic individual to be diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder because those who really should be don't seek help and so don't get clinically assessed; it is usually members of their family or work colleagues who seek help to cope with them.

Here are a few pointers that may help you identify one:

Their lack of empathy colors everything they do. They may say, "How are you?" when you meet, but they are working from memory. They are not interested in how you are. ohmy.gif
Virtually all of their ideas or ways of behaving in a given situation are taken from others, people they know and perhaps think of as an authority (mirroring). ohmy.gif
Their sense of self-importance and lack of empathy means that they will often interrupt the conversations of others. ohmy.gif
They expect others to do the day-to-day chores as they feel too important to waste their time on common things.
Listen for the constant use of "I", "me" and "my" when they talk. ohmy.gif
They very rarely talk about their inner life, for example their memories and dreams.
They feel that the rules at work don't apply to them.
They will always cheat whenever they think they can get away with it. ohmy.gif
If you share workload with them expect to do the lion's share yourself.
They love to delegate work or projects, then interfere by micro-managing it. If it goes well, they take the credit, if it goes badly they blame the person they delegated it to.
There tends to be higher levels of stress with people who work with or interact with a narcissist, which in turn increases absenteeism and staff turnover.
They get impatient and restless when the topic of discussion is about someone else, and not about them. ohmy.gif


One way to recognize a narcissist is to trust in your own intuition.

"One feels ill at ease in the presence of a narcissist for no apparent reason. No matter how charming, intelligent, thought provoking, outgoing, easy going and social the narcissist is he fails to secure the sympathy of others, a sympathy he is never ready, willing, or able to reciprocate."

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"During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act"

"You have enemies? Good! It means that you stood up for something, sometime in your life."
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Reeth
post Sep 5 2007, 01:55 AM
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QUOTE(noorie @ Sep 4 2007, 07:06 PM) *

Can you recognize a narcissist?

It is difficult to recognize a narcissist because he (or she) spends all of his time acting, protecting his ego by presenting to the world a false image of himself.
Consequently he becomes a master of deceit. But it is extremely important to be able to recognize people whose behavior is detrimental to their organization's performance.

A narcissist is not capable of putting the organization's needs before his or her own needs.

Researchers have found that a narcissist reacts much more emotionally than a non-narcissist, sometimes with "narcissistic rage" when his (or her) ego is threatened.
Social comparison information is especially salient as the narcissist processes social information in terms of its relevance to the self, that is, he reacts to negative feedback with more anger and aggression and lower self-esteem than a non-narcissist. In fact his mood and self-esteem fluctuations can usually be attributed to social comparison information.

"Overall, individuals high in narcissism displayed amplified responses to social comparison information, experiencing greater positive affect from downward comparisons and greater hostile affect from upward comparisons."
For example, it has been recognized for some time that narcissists prize intellectual performance above almost everything else, so a better qualified work colleague would likely evoke a hostile affect through upward comparison.

Because of a propensity to internalize failure, the narcissist's emotional response to failure is to feel shame, as opposed to guilt felt by people without the disorder. So in order to avoid shame, which the narcissist feels must be avoided at all costs, he externalizes blame for negative events. As he feels someone must be guilty, he almost always attributes blame to others.
Only when his self-esteem is particularly high, perhaps through some positive feedback he has engineered, does he accept blame, and only then if it can be seen as a magnanimous gesture.


A narcissist is someone who is overtly or subtly arrogant, exhibitionistic, vain, manipulative, and greedy for admiration.
Narcissistic rage, character assassination and projection are some of the overt ways in which the narcissist expresses himself.
For example, she may envy a work colleague's beauty, and project her feelings into her colleague by accusing her of being envious. Projection in teams is particularly prevalent.

The denial of remorse and gratitude by the narcissist are two of the more subtle ways used to protect an internal sense of grandiosity.
An example of a narcissist's ability to be subtle might be when he arrives late for a meeting. Rather than offer a sincere apology, he may blame someone else for keeping him talking, thus externalizing the fault ("It's not my fault") and maintaining his sense of grandiosity.

Despite tending to be exhibitionistic, it is very rare to hear a narcissist brag or boast. Instead, he (or she) tends to 'drop' information in the form of an ostensibly ordinary matter-of-fact report, which appears to be intended to elicit admiration without asking for it.

A distinction must be made between 'normal' or 'healthy' narcissism on the one hand and 'pathological' narcissism on the other. We all have some degree and variety of narcissistic delusion which, if it is not too great, is normal and healthy. But the pathological narcissist has a level of delusion that is divorced from reality.

Kernberg used a theoretical frame to differentiate between 'normal' and 'pathological' narcissism, combining ego psychology and object relations theory.

Normal narcissism refers to well integrated representations of the self and others, whilst pathological narcissism relates to an impaired intrapsychic structure with grandiose self-representation and a severe pathology in object relations. Lubit compared 'healthy' and 'destructive' narcissism in relation to their long-term impact on organizations.

The following is an extract from his comparison table.

Characteristics of healthy narcissism

Self-confident: High outward self-confidence in line with reality.

Desire for power, wealth and admiration: May enjoy power.

Relationships: Real concern for others and their ideas; does not exploit or devalue others.

Ability to follow a consistent path: Has values; follows through on plans

Foundation: Healthy childhood with support for self-esteem and appropriate limits on behaviour towards others.

Characteristics of destructive narcissism

Self-confident: Grandiose

Desire for power, wealth and admiration: Pursues power at all costs, lacks normal inhibitions in its pursuit.

Relationships: Concerns limited to expressing socially appropriate response when convenient; devalues and exploits others without remorse.

Ability to follow a constant path: Lacks values; easily bored; often changes course.

Foundation: Traumatic childhood undercutting true sense of self-esteem and/or learning that he / she doesn't need to be considerate of others.

It is rare for a narcissistic individual to be diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder because those who really should be don't seek help and so don't get clinically assessed; it is usually members of their family or work colleagues who seek help to cope with them.

Here are a few pointers that may help you identify one:

Their lack of empathy colors everything they do. They may say, "How are you?" when you meet, but they are working from memory. They are not interested in how you are. ohmy.gif
Virtually all of their ideas or ways of behaving in a given situation are taken from others, people they know and perhaps think of as an authority (mirroring). ohmy.gif
Their sense of self-importance and lack of empathy means that they will often interrupt the conversations of others. ohmy.gif
They expect others to do the day-to-day chores as they feel too important to waste their time on common things.
Listen for the constant use of "I", "me" and "my" when they talk. ohmy.gif
They very rarely talk about their inner life, for example their memories and dreams.
They feel that the rules at work don't apply to them.
They will always cheat whenever they think they can get away with it. ohmy.gif
If you share workload with them expect to do the lion's share yourself.
They love to delegate work or projects, then interfere by micro-managing it. If it goes well, they take the credit, if it goes badly they blame the person they delegated it to.
There tends to be higher levels of stress with people who work with or interact with a narcissist, which in turn increases absenteeism and staff turnover.
They get impatient and restless when the topic of discussion is about someone else, and not about them. ohmy.gif


One way to recognize a narcissist is to trust in your own intuition.

"One feels ill at ease in the presence of a narcissist for no apparent reason. No matter how charming, intelligent, thought provoking, outgoing, easy going and social the narcissist is he fails to secure the sympathy of others, a sympathy he is never ready, willing, or able to reciprocate."



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The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives
by altering their attitudes of mind

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simplefable
post Sep 5 2007, 10:35 AM
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That was an interesting read...thanks. if we collect opinions from employees...i bet all the bosses will get into that class... biggrin.gif

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IDOL
post Sep 6 2007, 12:34 AM
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thank u noorie.........for re-freshin my Psych 2201 ...........when i first learned about these characteristics one of which is posted here, i was scared caoz i thought i had some of the characteristics. tongue1.gif ....but Prof. told us all , 'u'll find similarities, but dun think u need a therapy' biggrin.gif ......the one u typed as 'healthy'

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noorie
post Sep 12 2007, 07:54 PM
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QUOTE(IDOL @ Sep 6 2007, 12:34 AM) *


thank u noorie.........for re-freshin my Psych 2201 ...........when i first learned about these characteristics one of which is posted here, i was scared caoz i thought i had some of the characteristics. tongue1.gif ....but Prof. told us all , 'u'll find similarities, but dun think u need a therapy' biggrin.gif ......the one u typed as 'healthy'



Idol, it's good to find a fellow Psych student out here. OMG, those were my exact thoughts when I too first became interested in Psychology.

I think I've scared off everyone who might have browsed this article. tongue1.gif

Noorie

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"You have enemies? Good! It means that you stood up for something, sometime in your life."
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