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Love and relationship

 
 
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> Love and relationship
Nimii
post Dec 23 2003, 11:00 AM
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Love and Relationships

Pyaar karte hain Shaan se - Radhika and Shaan


?When he came over to meet my parents, he wore silver pants and a gaudy shirt. My dad was shocked and asked me if I was planning to marry a trapeze artist. But with his charming smile, he won over my parents,? says Radhika of her husband and pop-singer, Shantanu Mukherjee, better known as Shaan.

Three years in a marital bond and living happily each day, here is the couple that believes that marriage is a life-long commitment; a pledge to do whatever is necessary to keep the relationship going.

Get to know the sweet, smiling, loving couple ? Radhika and Shaan

A change for the better
"Marriage has made me calmer and less irritable. Initially, I used to get annoyed at the smallest issue, but now I try and enjoy the moment rather than thinking about the future," says Radhika.

"Radhika taught me to judge people better and to do what I enjoy most rather than please everybody. Earlier, I would agree to do shows for everyone, indiscriminately, because I found it difficult to turn people down, but Radhika taught me to be more discerning. I realised that I couldn?t go about making everybody happy and ruining my work in the bargain. Now, I have learnt to say ?no? firmly, but politely," confesses Shaan.

Lovology
Shaan and Radhika recall the sweet memories when they met by sheer coincidence. "I had gone to the discotheque, Razzberry Rhinoceros to meet a friend and, in a case of mistaken identity, I met Shaan," Radhika recalls a day, seven years ago. "The DJ dedicated a song to me called 'Akbar mera naam nahin' and I thought it was done at Shaan's request as he was standing next to the DJ. Throughout the evening, I presumed that his name was Akbar; only later did I realise that he was the upcoming pop-singer, Shaan."

"Actually, at 24, I found this 18-year-old to be naïve and childish. But there were lots of co-incidences that kept happening - like, she would be walking into a restaurant and I would be walking out of it, or we would bump into each other at a friend's party, unplanned. There was certain chemistry and mystery between us which drew me to her," recounts Shaan.

Serenading by the sea
"What attracted me to her was that, unlike my other friends she seemed to be very straightforward in her thoughts and actions. Radhika follows her mind without getting swayed by outside influences and this characteristic appealed to me," says the ever-smiling Shaan.

"He proposed to me in the most romantic manner. We were on the beach; he went on his knees and said, 'with the sea, the sky and the air as witness, I ask you to marry me'! It felt like a dream," Radhika recalls.

No place for insecurity
"I believed in his capabilities and knew that he would make a success of his profession. I was never insecure about his professional life because I have seen his dedication and commitment to work; it has only reinforced my faith in him. As a singer, obviously he gets a lot of adulation and attention, but he has never made me feel insecure with the gossip and the rumours," Radhika vouches for his loyalty.

"In a profession like mine, you meet and interact with a lot of people, but at the end of the day you have to realise that there is this person you love who is waiting for you at home, and you have no right to make that person feel insecure due to your work. One has to stay honest to a relationship, only then will it work in the long run," Shaan maintains.

Aksar - A dedication
"My latest album Aksar is composed by me and dedicated to my wife. I used to hum the lyrics before Radhika as a romantic gesture and subsequently thought of releasing it as an album. Aksar for me is an extension of my love just for Radhika."

Initial hiccups after marriage
"We knew each other for seven years before tying the knot, so we understand each other quite well. There were basic adjustments to be made, but otherwise, life didn't change much after marriage, as it did after becoming parents," says Shaan.


"I come from a business family where everything has to be in an organised manner and things have to be in place, whereas here, mom-in-law has a very laid-back and chilled-out attitude, so it was a little difficult to adjust. But mom and Shaan helped me adjust and provided the space I needed," remembers Radhika.

"I did not interfere with them. They sorted out their differences among themselves and this helped build a more loving relationship between the two," adds Shaan.

Marriage is for keeps
"Poor communication between spouses is the main cause for marital problems. Your love should be such that you can open up and express your feelings without the fear of being attacked or judged. Small gestures like a hug or a compliment make grand statements," says Radhika.

"Marriage is a life-long commitment; a pledge to do whatever is necessary to keep the relationship going. And for that, you have to commit time and energy. If couples look at matrimony as a job, which they can quit whenever they like, then their marriage is heading for trouble. Both partners should be as concerned with the welfare of each other as they of their own," says Shaan.

Forgive and forget
"I can prolong a fight endlessly. I have a massive ego, but thankfully, Shaan can handle it. Nevertheless, I have realised one thing, that it is better to sort out the fight, then and there, rather than carry it over the next day," says Radhika.

"We all make mistakes and say nasty things which we don't mean, therefore we all need to forgive and be forgiven. No relationship can sustain without forgiveness or apologising. Saying sorry and forgiving is crucial in a marriage," Shaan affirms.

"I feel it is better to say sorry and forgive than to nurse an imagined hurt, which could lead to unnecessary bitterness and hatred. In the long run, this could ruin the marital bond. Now, even Radhika is learning the magic word," Shaan teases his wife.
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The new man in their lives
"Soham is his latest love. I remember an incident, which shows how protective Shaan is as a father. I was getting out of the car once, carrying Soham, when I slipped quite badly. The father in Shaan rose and he rushed to pick his son, saying, 'you dropped my son'; completely unaware that I was lying on the ground, hurt and shocked. That incident made me realise how protective and possessive Shaan is about his son. Later, of course, he apologised," says Radhika.

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"My son is the love of my life. He has given me inexplicable joy. I am extremely thankful to Radhika for this wonderful gift," says an emotional Shaan.
"Shaan has been an excellent boy friend, fiancé, husband and now, an outstanding father," says Radhika with a twinkle in her eyes.

Natasha Havewala

courtesy: http://www.shaadi.com/love-relationships/m...haan-031208.php
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