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Posted by: Faraaj73 Jun 12 2009, 02:32 PM

Add your favourite film noir quotes here. Once we've exhausted the noir genre, I'll change the Topic Description to something else - probably comedy. A good place to start a discussion on noir is Double Indemnity.

Double Indemnity (1944)
[last lines]
Walter Neff: Know why you couldn't figure this one, Keyes? I'll tell ya. 'Cause the guy you were looking for was too close. Right across the desk from ya.
Barton Keyes: Closer than that, Walter.
Walter Neff: I love you, too.

Kind of reminds me of another classic noir's closing:
[last lines]
Rick: Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jun 12 2009, 03:04 PM

Out of the Past (1947)
Jeff Bailey: You can never help anything, can you? You're like a leaf that the wind blows from one gutter to another.
Kathie Moffat: Can't you even feel sorry for me?
Jeff Bailey: I'm not going to try.
Kathie Moffat: Jeff...
Jeff Bailey: Just get out, will you? I have to sleep in this room.

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jun 12 2009, 03:12 PM

The Big Sleep (1946)
Vivian: I don't like your manners.
Marlowe: And I'm not crazy about yours. I didn't ask to see you. I don't mind if you don't like my manners, I don't like them myself. They are pretty bad. I grieve over them on long winter evenings. I don't mind your ritzing me drinking your lunch out of a bottle. But don't waste your time trying to cross-examine me.

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jun 17 2009, 02:35 PM

Casablanca (1942)
Annina: Monsieur Rick, what kind of a man is Captain Renault?
Rick: Oh, he's just like any other man, only more so.

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jun 17 2009, 02:45 PM

In a Lonely Place (1950)
Dixon Steele: I was born when she kissed me. I died when she left me. I lived a few weeks while she loved me.

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jun 17 2009, 02:47 PM

To Have and Have Not (1944)
Slim: Who was the girl, Steve?
Steve: Who was what girl?
Slim: The one who left you with such a high opinion of women

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jun 17 2009, 02:48 PM

The Maltese Falcon (1941)
Wilmer Cook: Keep on riding me and they're gonna be picking iron out of your liver.
Sam Spade: The cheaper the crook, the gaudier the patter, eh?

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jun 21 2009, 11:49 AM

Detour (1945)
Al Roberts: That's life. Whichever way you turn, Fate sticks out a foot to trip you.

Al Roberts: [as narrator] As I drove off, it was still raining and the drops streaked down the windshield like tears.

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jun 21 2009, 11:51 AM

Nightmare Alley (1947)
Carny #1: How can a guy sink so low?
Carny #2: He reached too high...

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jun 21 2009, 11:56 AM

The Killers (1946)
Jim Reardon: How well did you know the Swede?
Charleston: Me? Mister, I guess me and the Swede were about as close as two guys can get. For nearly two years we weren't more than eight and a half feet apart. That's how big the cell was.

Posted by: mmuk2004 Jun 21 2009, 11:31 PM

Keep on adding them. Wonderful, am reviving all my memories of those scenes. Great beginning, nothing so luscious as the dark, fatalistic dialogues of those noirs...

The Lady from Shanghai (1945)


Arthur Bannister: So money doesn't interest you, are you independently wealthy?
Michael O'Hara: I'm independent.
Arthur Bannister: Of money?


Arthur Bannister: You've been traveling around the world too much to find out anything about it.

Arthur Bannister: Killing you is killing myself. But, you know, I'm pretty tired of both of us.

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jun 22 2009, 04:49 AM

The Third Man (1949)
Harry Lime: Don't be so gloomy. After all it's not that awful. Like the fella says, in Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock. So long Holly.

Martins: Have you ever seen any of your victims?
Harry Lime: You know, I never feel comfortable on these sort of things. Victims? Don't be melodramatic. Look down there. Tell me. Would you really feel any pity if one of those dots stopped moving forever? If I offered you twenty thousand pounds for every dot that stopped, would you really, old man, tell me to keep my money, or would you calculate how many dots you could afford to spare?

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jun 22 2009, 05:03 AM

Sweet Smell of Success (1957)
Otis Elwell: I can't think of a good reason why I should print anything you give me. I can't even think of a *bad* reason.
Sidney Falco: [eyeing a pin-up] Suppose I introduce you to a... a lovely reason... who's both good *and* bad... and available?
Otis Elwell: [pauses] I'm not an unreasonable man.

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jun 22 2009, 05:11 AM

White Heat (1949)
Cody Jarrett: [while eating a chicken leg, Jarrett speaks to Parker in the trunk of the sedan] How ya doin', Parker?
Roy Parker: It's stuffy in here, I need some air.
Cody Jarrett: Oh, stuffy, huh? I'll give ya a litte air. [pulls a gun from his pants and shoots four times into the trunk]

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jun 28 2009, 07:31 AM

Now we're onto war. The most interesting, and foul-mouthed character in any war film had to be Gunnery Sergeant Hartmann from Stanley Kubrick's Full Metal Jacket. Here are a few choice abuses he heaped on new recruits - these quotes are all taken from the first 20 minutes of the film.

Full Metal Jacket (1987) (warning: full of expletives toned down with "*")
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: MOVE IT! Or I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: [Hartman gives a speech to the graduating recruits] Today, you people are no longer maggots. Today, you are Marines. You're part of a brotherhood. From now on until the day you die, wherever you are, every Marine is your brother. Most of you will go to Vietnam. Some of you will not come back. But always remember this: Marines die. That's what we're here for. But the Marine Corp lives forever. And that means YOU live forever.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: I'm Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your senior drill instructor, from now on you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and the last word out of your filthy sewers will be "Sir". Do you maggots understand that?
[recruits answers:] Sir. Yes Sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Bullsh*t I can't hear you. Sound off like you got a pair!
[recruits repeats with a louder tone]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human, f*ck*ng beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian Sh*t. Because I am hard you will not like me. But the more you hate me the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand that?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: How tall are you, private?
Private Cowboy: Sir, five-foot-nine, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Five-foot-nine, I didn't know they stacked sh*t that high.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Were you born a fat, slimy, scumbag puke piece o' sh*t, Private Pyle, or did you have to work on it?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Oh that's right, Private Pyle, don't make any f*ck*ng effort to get to the top of the f*ck*ng obstacle. If God would have wanted you up there he would have miracled your *ss up there by now, wouldn't he?

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jun 28 2009, 07:41 AM

Saving Private Ryan (1998)

Gen. George C. Marshall: I have here a very old letter, written to a Mrs. Bixby in Boston. "Dear Madam: I have been shown in the files of the War Department a statement of the Adjutant-General of Massachusetts that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle. I feel how weak and fruitless must be any words of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering to you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic they died to save. I pray that our heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom. Yours very sincerely and respectfully, Abraham Lincoln."

Private Jackson: Sir... I have an opinion on this matter.
Captain Miller: Well, by all means, share it with the squad.
Private Jackson: Well, from my way of thinking, sir, this entire mission is a serious misallocation of valuable military resources.
Captain Miller: Yeah. Go on.
Private Jackson: Well, it seems to me, sir, that God gave me a special gift, made me a fine instrument of warfare.
Captain Miller: Reiben, pay attention. Now, this is the way to gripe. Continue, Jackson.
Private Jackson: Well, what I mean by that, sir, is... if you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile of Adolf Hitler with a clear line of sight, sir... pack your bags, fellas, war's over. Amen.
Private Reiben: Oh, that's brilliant, bumpkin. Hey, so, Captain, what about you? I mean, you don't gripe at all?
Captain Miller: I don't gripe to *you*, Reiben. I'm a captain. There's a chain of command. Gripes go up, not down. Always up. You gripe to me, I gripe to my superior officer, so on, so on, and so on. I don't gripe to you. I don't gripe in front of you. You should know that as a Ranger.
Private Reiben: I'm sorry, sir, but uh... let's say you weren't a captain, or maybe I was a major. What would you say then?
Captain Miller: Well, in that case... I'd say, "This is an excellent mission, sir, with an extremely valuable objective, sir, worthy of my best efforts, sir. Moreover... I feel heartfelt sorrow for the mother of Private James Ryan and am willing to lay down my life and the lives of my men - especially you, Reiben - to ease her suffering."
Mellish: [chuckles] He's good.
Private Caparzo: I love him.
[they make mocking kissy-faces at each other]

Private Reiben: You wanna explain the math of this to me? I mean, where's the sense of riskin' the lives of the eight of us to save one guy?
Captain Miller: Twenty degrees. Anybody wanna answer that?
Medic Wade: Reiben, think about the poor b*st*rd's mother.
Private Reiben: Hey, Doc, I got a mother, all right? I mean, you got a mother. Sarge's got a mother. I mean, sh*t, I bet even the captain's got a mother.
[he turns and looks at Miller, who has a bemused expression on his face]
Private Reiben: Well, maybe not the captain, but the rest of us got mothers.
Upham: "Theirs not to reason why, theirs but to do and die."

Posted by: simplefable Jun 28 2009, 10:22 AM

Faraaj..now, war films are my favorites..
here are some from the Great Escape...


Sedgwick (James Coburn ) : Danny, do you speak Russian?
Danny (Charles Bronson ) : A little, but only one sentence.
Sedgwick: Well, let me have it, mate.
Danny: Ya vas lyublyu.
Sedgwick: Ya ya vas...
Danny: Lyublyu.
Sedgwick: Lyubliu? Ya vas lyubliu. Ya vas lyublyu. What's it mean?
Danny: I love you.
Sedgwick: Love you. What ****** good is that?
Danny: I don't know, I wasn't going to use it myself.

...............................


Bartlett (Richard Attenborough ): Hilts, how do you breathe?
Hilts (Steve McQueen ) : Oh, we got a steel rod with hinges on it. We'll shove it up and make air holes as we go along.
[to Ramsey (James donald ) ]
Hilts: G'night, sir.
[Walks out]
MacDonald: Why didn't anyone think of that before? It's so stupid, it's positively brilliant!
[face falls]
MacDonald (Gordon Jackson) : Oh, but it'll bring every goon in the camp down on top of us!
Bartlett: I don't know. Perhaps we're being too clever. If we stop all the breakouts, it will only convince the goons we must be tunneling.
Ramsey: I hope it works. If it doesn't, those two will be in the cooler for an awfully long time.
[cut to Hilts and Ives being escorted back to the cooler covered in dirt]

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jun 28 2009, 02:59 PM

QUOTE(simplefable @ Jun 28 2009, 02:52 PM)

Faraaj..now, war films are my favorites..
here are some from the Great Escape...

Posted by: simplefable Jun 28 2009, 04:21 PM

yes, who can forget those visuals..? The film is an altime fav..one of those few films where we feel like getting up and saluting those brave souls..
one more quote..

Sergeant-Hauptmann Strachwitz: Your name?
Archibald 'Archie' Ives, 'The Mole': Ives.
[Strachwitz looks through his prisoner profiles]
Sergeant-Hauptmann Strachwitz: Ives... Ives... Oh, yes. Archibald Ives. Scot. The photograph doesn't do justice.
Archibald 'Archie' Ives, 'The Mole': I'd like to see one of you under similar circumstances.

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jun 30 2009, 04:03 PM

The African Queen (1951)
Charlie Allnut: A man takes a drop too much once in a while, it's only human nature.
Rose Sayer: Nature, Mr. Allnut, is what we are put in this world to rise above.

Charlie Allnut: [his stomach is growling] Ain't a thing I can do about it.

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jun 30 2009, 04:15 PM

Schindler's List (1993)
Amon Goeth: They cast a spell on you, you know, the Jews. When you work closely with them, like I do, you see this. They have this power. It's like a virus. Some of my men are infected with this virus. They should be pitied, not punished. They should receive treatment because this is as real as typhus. I see it all the time. It's a matter of money? Hmm?

Amon Goeth: Today is history. Today will be remembered. Years from now the young will ask with wonder about this day. Today is history and you are part of it. Six hundred years ago when elsewhere they were footing the blame for the Black Death, Casimir the Great - so called - told the Jews they could come to Krakow. They came. They trundled their belongings into the city. They settled. They took hold. They prospered in business, science, education, the arts. With nothing they came and with nothing they flourished. For six centuries there has been a Jewish Krakow. By this evening those six centuries will be a rumor. They never happened. Today is history.

[Addressing his workers at the end of the war]
Oskar Schindler: The unconditional surrender of Germany has just been announced. At midnight tonight, the war is over. Tomorrow you'll begin the process of looking for survivors of your families. In most cases... you won't find them. After six long years of murder, victims are being mourned throughout the world. We've survived. Many of you have come up to me and thanked me. Thank yourselves. Thank your fearless Stern, and others among you who worried about you and faced death at every moment. I am a member of the Nazi Party. I'm a munitions manufacturer. I'm a profiteer of slave labor. I am... a criminal. At midnight, you'll be free and I'll be hunted. I shall remain with you until five minutes after midnight, after which time - and I hope you'll forgive me - I have to flee.
[He addresses the factory's SS guards]
Oskar Schindler: I know you have received orders from our commandant, which he has received from his superiors, to dispose of the population of this camp. Now would be the time to do it. Here they are; they're all here. This is your opportunity. Or, you could leave, and return to your families as men instead of murderers.
[the guards gradually exit]

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jun 30 2009, 04:17 PM

The Dirty Dozen (1967)
Major John Reisman: You've seen a general inspecting troops before haven't you? Just walk slow, act dumb and look stupid!

Pinkley: [impersonating a general] Very pretty, General. Very pretty. But, can they fight?

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jul 2 2009, 04:44 PM

Apocalypse Now (1979)
Colonel Lucas: Your mission is to proceed up the Nung River in a Navy patrol boat. Pick up Colonel Kurtz's path at Nu Mung Ba, follow it and learn what you can along the way. When you find the Colonel, infiltrate his team by whatever means available and terminate the Colonel's command.
Willard: Terminate the Colonel?
General Corman: He's out there operating without any decent restraint, totally beyond the pale of any acceptable human conduct. And he is still in the field commanding troops.
Civilian: Terminate with extreme prejudice.
Colonel Lucas: You understand Captain that this mission does not exist, nor will it ever exist.

Kurtz: I've seen horrors... horrors that you've seen. But you have no right to call me a murderer. You have a right to kill me. You have a right to do that... but you have no right to judge me. It's impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means. Horror. Horror has a face... and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and moral terror are your friends. If they are not then they are enemies to be feared. They are truly enemies. I remember when I was with Special Forces. Seems a thousand centuries ago. We went into a camp to inoculate the children. We left the camp after we had inoculated the children for Polio, and this old man came running after us and he was crying. He couldn't see. We went back there and they had come and hacked off every inoculated arm. There they were in a pile. A pile of little arms. And I remember... I... I... I cried. I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out. I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I want to remember it. I never want to forget it. I never want to forget. And then I realized... like I was shot... like I was shot with a diamond... a diamond bullet right through my forehead. And I thought: My God... the genius of that. The genius. The will to do that. Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure. And then I realized they were stronger than we. Because they could stand that these were not monsters. These were men... trained cadres. These men who fought with their hearts, who had families, who had children, who were filled with love... but they had the strength... the strength... to do that. If I had ten divisions of those men our troubles here would be over very quickly. You have to have men who are moral... and at the same time who are able to utilize their primordial instincts to kill without feeling... without passion... without judgment... without judgment. Because it's judgment that defeats us.

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jul 2 2009, 04:54 PM

Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
T.E. Lawrence: My friends, we have been foolish. Auda will not come to Aqaba. Not for money...
Auda abu Tayi: No.
T.E. Lawrence: ...for Feisal...
Auda abu Tayi: No!
T.E. Lawrence: ...nor to drive away the Turks. He will come... because it is his pleasure.
[pause]
Auda abu Tayi: Thy mother mated with a scorpion.

Auda abu Tayi: It is Auda of the Howitat who speaks.
Sherif Ali: It is Ali of the Harith who answers.
Auda abu Tayi: Harith! Ali, does your father still steal?
Sherif Ali: No. Does Auda take me for one of his own b*st*rds?
Auda abu Tayi: No, there is no resemblance. Alas, you resemble your father.
Sherif Ali: Auda flatters me.
Auda abu Tayi: You're easily flattered. I knew your father well.
Sherif Ali: Did you know your own?

Sherif Ali: What are you looking for?
T.E. Lawrence: Some way to announce myself.
Sherif Ali: Be patient with him, God.

Posted by: simplefable Jul 2 2009, 07:38 PM

The Guns of Navarone

The best scene ...where Corporal Miller (David Niven ) and Mallory ( Gregory Peck ) have a go at each other...sheer electric stuff !!

Mallory: Can you do anything at all?
Corporal Miller: I don't know. There's always a way to blow up explosives. The trick is not to be around when they go off. But aren't you forgetting something? The lady. As I see it we have three choices. One we can leave her here but there's no guarantee she won't be found, and in her case they won't need a truth drug. Two, we can take her with us, but that would make things worse than they are already. And three... well, that's Andrea's choice, remember?
Mallory: You really want your pound of flesh, don't you?
Corporal Miller: Yes, I do. You see, somehow I just couldn't get to sleep.
Mallory: Well, if you're so anxious to kill her, go ahead!
Corporal Miller: I'm not anxious to kill her, I'm not anxious to kill anyone. You see, I'm not a born soldier. I was trapped. You may find me facetious from time to time, but if I didn't make some rather bad jokes I'd go out of my mind. No, I prefer to leave the killing to someone like you, an officer and a gentleman, a leader of men.
Mallory: If you think I wanted this, any of this, you're out of your mind, I was trapped like you, just like anyone who put on the uniform!
Corporal Miller: Of *course* you wanted it, you're an officer, aren't you? I never let them make *me* an officer! I don't want the responsibility!
Mallory: So you've had a free ride, all this time! Someone's *got* to take responsibility if the job's going to get done! You think that's easy?
Corporal Miller: [shouts] I don't know! I'm not even sure who really is responsible any more.

Posted by: mmuk2004 Jul 3 2009, 10:50 AM

QUOTE(Faraaj73 @ Jul 2 2009, 06:14 AM)

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jul 4 2009, 04:52 PM

QUOTE(mmuk2004 @ Jul 3 2009, 03:20 PM)

Posted by: mmuk2004 Jul 8 2009, 02:36 AM

Faraaj,

Yes, I have seen the redux and it indeed fills up the puzzling references in the earlier version. Not only that, watching the earlier version in the theaters with Brando mumbling his lines made the earlier release quite difficult to understand and besides that I benefited a great from getting a handle on the cultural references much later. When I first saw it, the bold outline of the film, the intelligent adaptation etc. were fascinating enough. The film, as is typical of most complex films, gives a great deal more on repeat viewings.

Now I have to see the documentary. Had thought I would watch it later, which ofc never happens.

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jul 13 2009, 03:16 PM

Time for a change of genre: this comedic masterpiece is a great place to start. Just one of the many zany subplots involved a rich millionaire falling for and proposing to Jack Lemmon who was impersonating a female....

Some Like It Hot (1959)
Jerry: Have I got things to tell you!
Joe: What happened?
Jerry: I'm engaged.
Joe: Congratulations. Who's the lucky girl?
Jerry: I am!

Joe: [trying to get Jerry to face reality regarding his engagement to Osgood] Jerry, Jerry, will you take my advice? Forget about the whole thing, will ya? Just keep telling yourself: you're a boy, you're a boy.
Jerry: I'm a boy.
Joe: That's the boy.
Jerry: [coming around] I'm a boy. I'm a boy. I wish I were dead. I'm a boy. Boy, oh boy, am I a boy. Now, what am I gonna do about my engagement present?
Joe: What engagement present?
Jerry: Osgood gave me a bracelet.
Joe: [takes it and inspects the stones with Beinstock's glasses] Hey, these are real diamonds!
Jerry: Of course they're real! What do you think? My fiance is a bum?

Joe: There's another problem.
Jerry: Like what?
Joe: Like, what are you gonna do on your honeymoon?
Jerry: We've been discussing that. He wants to go to the Riviera but I kinda lean towards Niagara Falls.

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jul 14 2009, 03:02 PM

The Big Lebowski (1998)
Maude Lebowski: What do you do for recreation?
The Dude: Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback.

Blond Treehorn Thug: [holding up a bowling ball] What the f*ck is this?
The Dude: Obviously you're not a golfer.

Walter Sobchak: Now so far, we have what appears to me to be a series of victimless crimes.
The Dude: What about the toe?
Walter Sobchak: Forget about the f*cking toe!
Coffee Shop Waitress: Excuse me, sir. Could you please keep your voices down? This is a family restaurant.
Walter Sobchak: Oh please, dear? For your information, the Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint.

The Dude: Let me explain something to you. Um, I am not "Mr. Lebowski". You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.

The Big Lebowski: What makes a man, Mr. Lebowski?
The Dude: Dude.
The Big Lebowski: Huh?
The Dude: Uhh... I don't know sir.
The Big Lebowski: Is it being prepared to do the right thing, whatever the cost? Isn't that what makes a man?
The Dude: Hmmm... Sure, that and a pair of testicles.

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jul 16 2009, 04:02 PM

This Is Spinal Tap (1984)
Riotously funny rockumentary with countless classic moments. Below are a few samples...

Marty DiBergi: David St. Hubbins... I must admit I've never heard anybody with that name.
David St. Hubbins: It's an unusual name, well, he was an unusual saint, he's not a very well known saint.
Marty DiBergi: Oh, there actually is, uh... there was a Saint Hubbins?
David St. Hubbins: That's right, yes.
Marty DiBergi: What was he the saint of?
David St. Hubbins: He was the patron saint of quality footwear.

[Nigel is playing a soft piece on the piano]
Marty DiBergi: It's very pretty.
Nigel Tufnel: Yeah, I've been fooling around with it for a few months.
Marty DiBergi: It's a bit of a departure from what you normally play.
Nigel Tufnel: It's part of a trilogy, a musical trilogy I'm working on in D minor which is the saddest of all keys, I find. People weep instantly when they hear it, and I don't know why.
Marty DiBergi: It's very nice.
Nigel Tufnel: You know, just simple lines intertwining, you know, very much like - I'm really influenced by Mozart and Bach, and it's sort of in between those, really. It's like a Mach piece, really. It's sort of...
Marty DiBergi: What do you call this?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, this piece is called "Lick My Love Pump".

Nigel Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...
Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?
Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.
Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?
Marty DiBergi: I don't know.
Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.
Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.
Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?
Nigel Tufnel: [long pause] These go to eleven.

Bobbi Flekman: You put a greased naked woman on all fours with a dog collar around her neck, and a leash, and a man's arm extended out up to here, holding onto the leash, and pushing a black glove in her face to sniff it. You don't find that offensive? You don't find that sexist?
Ian Faith: This is 1982, Bobbi, c'mon!
Bobbi Flekman: That's right, it's 1982! Get out of the '60s. We don't have this mentality anymore.
Ian Faith: Well, you should have seen the cover they *wanted* to do! It wasn't a glove, believe me.

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jul 17 2009, 04:31 PM

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)

[Turgidson advocates a further nuclear attack to prevent a Soviet response to Ripper's attack]
General "Buck" Turgidson: Mr. President, we are rapidly approaching a moment of truth both for ourselves as human beings and for the life of our nation. Now, truth is not always a pleasant thing. But it is necessary now to make a choice, to choose between two admittedly regrettable, but nevertheless distinguishable, postwar environments: one where you got twenty million people killed, and the other where you got a hundred and fifty million people killed.
President Merkin Muffley: You're talking about mass murder, General, not war!
General "Buck" Turgidson: Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed. But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops. Uh, depending on the breaks.

[General Turgenson's phone rings in the war room]
General "Buck" Turgidson: Hello...
[whispering]
General "Buck" Turgidson: I told you never to call me here, don't you know where I am?... Well look, baby, I c-, I can't talk to you now... my president needs me!... Of course Bucky'd rather be there with you!... Of course it isn't only physical!... I deeply respect you as a human being... Some day I'm gonna make you Mrs Buck Turgidson!... Oh, listen uh, you go back to sleep hon, and Bucky'll be back there just as soon as he can... All right... listen, sug, don't forget to say your prayers!

[Strangelove's plan for post-nuclear war survival involves living underground with a 10:1 female-to-male ratio]
General "Buck" Turgidson: Doctor, you mentioned the ratio of ten women to each man. Now, wouldn't that necessitate the abandonment of the so-called monogamous sexual relationship, I mean, as far as men were concerned?
Dr. Strangelove: Regrettably, yes. But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious... service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.
Ambassador de Sadesky: I must confess, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor.

Posted by: simplefable Jul 17 2009, 04:58 PM

the classic My Fair Lady...

Colonel Hugh Pickering: Are you a man of good character where women are concerned?
Professor Henry Higgins: Have you ever met a man of good character where women are concerned?
Colonel Hugh Pickering: Yes, very frequently.
Professor Henry Higgins: Well, I haven't. I find that the moment a woman makes friends with me she becomes jealous, exacting, suspicious, and a damn nuisance. And I find that the moment I make friends with a woman I become selfish and tyrannical. So here I am, a confirmed old bachelor and likely to remain so.

...............................................

Professor Henry Higgins: All right, Eliza, say it again.
Eliza Doolittle: The rine in spine sties minely in the pline.
Professor Henry Higgins: [sighs] The *rain* in *Spain* stays *mainly* in the *plain*.
Eliza Doolittle: Didn't ah sy that?
Professor Henry Higgins: No, Eliza, you didn't "sy" that, you didn't even "say" that. Now every night before you get into bed, where you used to say your prayers, I want you to say "The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain" fifty times. You'll get much further with the Lord if you learn not to offend His ears.

................................................

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jul 17 2009, 05:17 PM

QUOTE(simplefable @ Jul 17 2009, 09:28 PM)

Posted by: mmuk2004 Jul 18 2009, 07:08 AM

Annie Hall (1977)

A modern "relationship" film : Allen's favorite theme:

Opening lines of the film: Woody Allen is Alvy Singer:

Alvy Singer: [addressing the camera] There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly. The... the other important joke, for me, is one that's usually attributed to Groucho Marx; but, I think it appears originally in Freud's "Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious," and it goes like this - I'm paraphrasing - um, "I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member." That's the key joke of my adult life, in terms of my relationships with women.




Alvy is jealous about Annie having an affair and confronts her:

Alvy Singer: Well, I didn't start out spying. I thought I'd surprise you. Pick you up after school.
Annie Hall: Yeah, but you wanted to keep the relationship flexible. Remember, it's your phrase.
Alvy Singer: Oh stop it, you're having an affair with your college professor, that jerk that teaches that incredible crap course, Contemporary Crisis in Western Man...
Annie Hall: Existential Motifs in Russian Literature. You're really close.
Alvy Singer: What's the difference? It's all mental masturbation.
Annie Hall: Oh, well, now we're finally getting to a subject you know something about.
Alvy Singer: Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
Annie Hall: We're not having an affair. He's married. He just happens to think I'm neat.
Alvy Singer: "Neat." What are you, 12 years old? That's one of your Chippewa Falls expressions.
Annie Hall: Who cares? Who cares?
Alvy Singer: Next thing you know, he'll find you keen and peachy, you know. Next thing you know, he's got his hand on your ass.
Annie Hall: You've always had hostility towards David, ever since I mentioned him.
Alvy Singer: Dav - you call your teacher David?
Annie Hall: It's his name.
Alvy Singer: It's a Biblical name, right? What does he call you, Bathsheba?



"Intellectual" flirtation:

Allison: I'm in the midst of doing my thesis.
Alvy Singer: On what?
Allison: Political commitment in twentieth century literature.
Alvy Singer: You, you, you're like New York, Jewish, left-wing, liberal, intellectual, Central Park West, Brandeis University, the socialist summer camps and the, the father with the Ben Shahn drawings, right, and the really, y'know, strike-oriented kind of, red diaper, stop me before I make a complete imbecile of myself.
Allison: No, that was wonderful. I love being reduced to a cultural stereotype.
Alvy Singer: Right, I'm a bigot, I know, but for the left.


Last Scene of the movie:

Alvy Singer: [narrating] After that it got pretty late, and we both had to go, but it was great seeing Annie again. I... I realized what a terrific person she was, and... and how much fun it was just knowing her; and I... I, I thought of that old joke, y'know, the, this... this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, uh, my brother's crazy; he thinks he's a chicken." And, uh, the doctor says, "Well, why don't you turn him in?" The guy says, "I would, but I need the eggs." Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships; y'know, they're totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and... but, uh, I guess we keep goin' through it because, uh, most of us... need the eggs.

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jul 18 2009, 08:15 AM

QUOTE(mmuk2004 @ Jul 18 2009, 11:38 AM)

Posted by: simplefable Jul 18 2009, 09:56 AM

Faraaj...My fair lady is my very first film where i recognized the beauty of movies..the entire script is riddled with funniest quotes...
For your info...Madhavi is an out and out Woody Allen's fan. She wrote a wonderful commentary on the complete filmography of Allen in some other thread !

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jul 18 2009, 05:55 PM

QUOTE(simplefable @ Jul 18 2009, 02:26 PM)

Faraaj...My fair lady is my very first film where i recognized the beauty of movies..the entire script is riddled with funniest quotes...
For your info...Madhavi is an out and out Woody Allen's fan. She wrote a wonderful commentary on the complete filmography of Allen in some other thread !

Posted by: simplefable Jul 18 2009, 07:08 PM

Faraaj..here is the link where Madhavi did a fine job on Allen's movies .

http://www.hamaraforums.com/index.php?showtopic=40396&st=30

Wow..wish you a fine vacation..sure you deserve it.
Glad that you found the time to see the classics..nothing beats it, i guess. Please dont worry about the Las Vegas song..all in good time.

Posted by: mmuk2004 Jul 22 2009, 12:03 PM

QUOTE(Faraaj73 @ Jul 18 2009, 07:25 AM)

QUOTE(simplefable @ Jul 18 2009, 02:26 PM)

Faraaj...My fair lady is my very first film where i recognized the beauty of movies..the entire script is riddled with funniest quotes...
For your info...Madhavi is an out and out Woody Allen's fan. She wrote a wonderful commentary on the complete filmography of Allen in some other thread !

SF

I remember as a student in London in the 90s, a digitised and fully restored version of My Fair Lady premiered. I attended the premiere which was a wonderful experience watching this classic film on the big screen. I had about 15 different versions (probably still do!) of the showstopper On the Street Where You Live...in fact I love the entire soundtrack.....

I didn't know Madhavi was such a Woody fan. All I knew was she had good taste (even though I'm not a Lubitsch fan ) I also think Allen's great - a comic genius as I mentioned above....pls give me the link to her commentary if you find it....

I wish I had the time to write commentaries, reviews etc.....with work, family, friends, books, movies, music and a bit of sleep if I can catch it, life is too hectic unfortunately....I am going to the Hunter Valley tomorrow for a 5 day mini-vacation so in between bouts of wine tasting I hope to see some old classics I'm taking along....I'll send you the Viva Las Vegas song when I return.....heard it last night!!!

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jul 23 2009, 02:52 PM

Life of Brian (1979)
Tagline: A motion picture destined to offend nearly two thirds of the civilized world. And severely annoy the other third.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
Tagline: Makes Ben Hur look like an Epic

Minstrel: [singing] Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin. He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin. His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off and his penis...
Sir Robin: That's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads... looks like there's dirty work afoot.

French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

King Arthur: Old woman.
Dennis: Man.
King Arthur: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
Dennis: I'm 37.
King Arthur: What?
Dennis: I'm 37. I'm not old.
King Arthur: Well I can't just call you "man".
Dennis: Well you could say "Dennis".
King Arthur: I didn't know you were called Dennis.
Dennis: Well you didn't bother to find out did you?
King Arthur: I did say sorry about the "old woman", but from behind you looked...
Dennis: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior.
King Arthur: Well I am king.
Dennis: Oh, king eh? Very nice. And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.

King Arthur: I am your king.
Woman: Well I didn't vote for you.
King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.
Woman: Well how'd you become king then?
[Angelic music plays... ]
King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.
Dennis: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Dennis: Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.

Dingo: You must spank her well, and after you are done with her, you may deal with her as you like... and then... spank me.
All: And me. And me too. And me.
Dingo: Yes. Yes, you must give us all a good spanking.

Posted by: Marcilo Jul 24 2009, 02:07 AM

Wow, you guys remember all the dialogues

Posted by: mmuk2004 Jul 24 2009, 09:11 AM

Nahin Re,

IMDB zindabad.

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jul 24 2009, 03:21 PM

QUOTE(mmuk2004 @ Jul 24 2009, 01:41 PM)

Nahin Re,

IMDB zindabad.

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jul 26 2009, 05:22 AM

Some Cary Grant classics...

His Girl Friday (1940)
Hildy Johnson: I suppose I proposed to you?
Walter Burns: Well, you practically did, making goo-goo eyes at me for two years until I broke down.
[impersonates Hildy, flutters his eyelashes]
Walter Burns: "Oh, Walter." And I still claim I was tight the night I proposed to you. If you had been a gentleman, you would have forgotten all about it. But not you!
Hildy Johnson: [hurls her purse at him] Why, you - !
Walter Burns: [ducks and her purse barely misses him] You're losing your aim. You used to be able to pitch better than that.

Walter Burns: Look, Hildy, I only acted like any husband that didn't want to see his home broken up.
Hildy Johnson: What home?
Walter Burns: What home! Don't you remember the home I promised you?

Walter Burns: Sorta wish you hadn't done that, Hildy.
Hildy Johnson: Done what?
Walter Burns: Divorced me. Makes a fella lose all faith in himself. Gives him a... almost gives him a feeling he wasn't wanted.
Hildy Johnson: Oh, now look, junior... that's what divorces are FOR!

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jul 26 2009, 05:32 AM

The Philadelphia Story (1940)
Macaulay Connor: Doggone it, C.K. Dexter Haven. Either I'm gonna sock you or you're gonna sock me.
C. K. Dexter Haven: Shall we toss a coin?

Uncle Willie: [hung over] Awww... this is one of those days that the pages of history teach us are best spent lying in bed.

Macaulay Connor: The prettiest sight in this fine pretty world is the privileged class enjoying its privileges.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Sometimes, for your own sake, Red, I think you should've stuck to me longer.
Tracy Lord: I thought it was for life, but the nice judge gave me a full pardon.
C. K. Dexter Haven: Aaah, that's the old redhead. No bitterness, no recrimination, just a good swift left to the jaw.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Orange juice, certainly.
Tracy Lord: Don't tell me you've forsaken your beloved whisky and whiskies.
C. K. Dexter Haven: No-no-no-no. I've just changed their colour, that's all. I'm going for the pale pastel shades now. There're more becoming of me. How about you, Mr. Connor? You drink, don't you - alcohol, I mean?
Macaulay Connor: Oh, a little.
C. K. Dexter Haven: [Amused] A little? And you a writer? Tsk, tsk, tsk. I thought all writers drank to excess and beat their wives. You know, at one time I think I secretly wanted to be a writer.
[He and Tracy exchange scornful looks]

Posted by: mmuk2004 Jul 27 2009, 01:01 AM

The Lady Eve (1941)

Cynical manhunting!

Jean Harrington: You see Hopsi, you don't know very much about girls. The best ones aren't as good as you think they are and the bad ones aren't as bad. Not nearly as bad.



Jean Harrington: [while observing Charles Pike from her pocket mirror] Not good enough... I said they're not good enough for him. Every Jane in the room is giving him the thermometer and he feels they're just a waste of time. He's returning to his book, he's deeply immersed in it. He sees no one except - watch his head turn when that kid goes by. Won't do you any good, dear, he's a bookworm, but swing 'em anyway. Oh, now how about this one. How would you like that hanging on your Christmas tree? Oh you wouldn't? Well, what is your weakness, brother? Holy smoke, the dropped kerchief! That hasn't been used since Lily Langtry. You'll have to pick it up yourself, madam. It's a shame, but he doesn't care for the flesh. He'll never see it. Look at that girl over to his left. Look over to your left, bookworm. There's a girl pining for ya. A little further. Just a little further... There! Wasn't that worth looking for? See those nice store teeth all beaming at you. Oh, she recognizes you! She's up, she's down, she can't make up her mind. She's up again. She recognizes you! She's coming over to speak to you. The suspense is killing me. "Why, for heaven's sake, aren't you Fuzzy Oathammer I went to manual training school with in Louisville? Oh you're not? Well, you certainly look exactly like him, it's certainly a remarkable resemblance... But if you're not going to ask me to sit down, I suppose you're not going to ask me to sit down... I'm very sorry, I certainly hope I haven't caused you any embarrassment, you so and so." "I wonder if my tie's on straight. I certainly upset them, don't I? Now who else is after me?" Ah, the lady champion wrestler, wouldn't she make a houseful? Oh, you don't like her either. Well, what are you going to do about her? Oh, you just can't stand it anymore, you're leaving. These women don't give you a moment's peace, do they? Well, go ahead! Go sulk in your cabin. Go soak your head and see if I care!

Charles Pike: You're certainly a funny girl for anybody to meet who's just been up the Amazon for a year.
Jean Harrington: Good thing you weren't up there two years.



Charles Pike: I'm married.
Jean Harrington: But so am I, darling. So am I.



Steward: Six more Pike's Pale. Make it snappy.
Ship's Bartender: What are you trying to do, embarrass me? We're all out of Pike's Pale. Work 'em over to something else!
Steward,: They don't want nothing else. They want "the Ale that won for Yale." Rah, rah, rah.
Ship's Bartender: Well, tell 'em to go to Harvard.


Charles Pike: Now you, on the other hand, with a little coaching you could be terrific
Jean Harrington: Do you really think so?
Charles Pike: Yes, you have a definite nose.
Jean Harrington: I'm glad you like it. Do you like any of the rest of me?


Jean Harrington: What were you doing up the Amazon?
Charles Pike: Looking for snakes. I'm an ophiologist.
Jean Harrington: I thought you were in the beer business.
Charles Pike: Beer? *Ale!*
Jean Harrington: What's the difference?
Charles Pike: Between beer and ale?
Jean Harrington: Yes.
Charles Pike: My father'd burst a blood vessel if he heard you say that. There's a big difference. Ale's sort of fermented on the top or something, and beer's fermented on the bottom, or maybe it's the other way around. There's no similarity at all. You see, the trouble with being descended from a brewer, no matter how long ago he brewered, or whatever you call it, you're supposed to know all about something you don't give a hoot about.



Charles Pike: What I am trying to say is: I'm not a poet, I'm an ophiologist.


Jean Harrington: They say a moonlit deck is a woman's business office.


Jean Harrington: I need him like the ax needs the turkey.

Posted by: mmuk2004 Jul 27 2009, 01:04 AM

QUOTE(Faraaj73 @ Jul 25 2009, 06:52 PM)

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jul 27 2009, 02:39 PM

QUOTE(mmuk2004 @ Jul 27 2009, 05:31 AM)

Posted by: Marcilo Jul 27 2009, 09:08 PM

QUOTE(Faraaj73 @ Jul 24 2009, 05:51 AM)

QUOTE(mmuk2004 @ Jul 24 2009, 01:41 PM)

Nahin Re,

IMDB zindabad.

Aaw come on Madhavi! We could have had so much fun with him for 2-3 days! You'll never be a good poker player!!!

Posted by: mmuk2004 Jul 29 2009, 12:15 AM

Have not seen that one. Saw Pink Panther 2 over the weekend. Okay Steve Martin is not Peter Sellers but he is still funny with "un"-politically correct "My little yellow friend" etc etc. You have to see the movie in the right mood to enjoy the slapstick moments. Enjoyed even the over-the-top Pope moments.

Posted by: Marcilo Jul 29 2009, 02:52 AM

QUOTE(mmuk2004 @ Jul 28 2009, 02:45 PM)

Have not seen that one. Saw Pink Panther 2 over the weekend. Okay Steve Martin is not Peter Sellers but he is still funny with "un"-politically correct "My little yellow friend". You have to see the movie in the right mood to enjoy the slapstick moments. Enjoyed even the over-the-top Pope moments.

Posted by: simplefable Jul 29 2009, 11:28 AM

While we are on Cary Grant...i found recently , a beautiful film of his.." people will talk". Though the film is disguised as a comedy and has some of the finest lines capable of splitting our stomachs...the underlying philosophy and the characters will stay for ever..One of the finest in my view.
Here are a few repartee from that film...courtesy IMDB..



Doctor Noah Praetorius( Cary Grant ): How old were you when you learned to walk?
Arthur Higgins: I could get around alright at four.
Doctor Noah Praetorius: And how old were you when you left the farm?
Arthur Higgins: Sixteen.
Doctor Noah Praetorius: Surely it didn't take you twelve years to make up your mind!

Doctor Noah Praetorius: Professor Elwell, you are the only man I know who can say 'malignant' the way other people say 'Bingo!'.

Doctor Noah Praetorius: I consider faith properly injected into a patient as effective in maintaining life as Adrenaline, and a belief in miracles has been the difference between living and dying as often as any surgeon's scalpel.

Professor Barker: Elwell, you can use more words more unpleasantly than any irritating little pipsqueak I've ever known!

Shunderson: Professor Elwell, you're a little man. It's not that you're short. You're...little, in the mind and in the heart. Tonight, you tried to make a man little whose boots you couldn't touch if you stood on tiptoe on top of the highest mountain in the world. And as it turned out...you're even littler than you were before.

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jul 29 2009, 12:56 PM

The Party (1968)
C. S. Divot: Who do you think you are?
Hrundi V. Bakshi: In India, we don't think who we are. We know who we are.

Hrundi V. Bakshi: Birdie Num Num

Director: You.
Hrundi V. Bakshi: Me?
Director: Yes, you. Get off of my set, and out of my picture. Off, off! You're washed up, you're finished! I'll see to it that you never make another movie again!
Hrundi V. Bakshi: Does that include television, sir?

Levinson: [Comes in with a plate of hors d'oeuvres with Hrundi's shoe on top of it] Would you care for some hors-d'oeuvres sir?
Hrundi V. Bakshi: Well I am on a diet, but to hell with it! [Takes his shoe]

Posted by: Faraaj73 Jul 29 2009, 01:24 PM

What's New Pussycat (1965)
Carole Werner: You got something to eat?
Victor Skakapopulis: [Looking around his messy kitchen] Some, uh, some fig-newtons and some hershey bars and some cough drops
Carole Werner: You got any tuna fish?
Victor Skakapopulis: [Searching cupboard] Tunafish... Tunafish... I have some salmon salad left
Carole Werner: What do you mean, left? When did you make it?
Victor Skakapopulis: In April but if you smother it with pepper it's fine.

Liz Bien: You're right. I must face my problems. I can't go through life being a semi-virgin.
Michael James: What, in the name of all that is gracious, is a semi-virgin?
Liz Bien: Here, I'm a virgin. In America, I'm not.
Michael James: What do they do? Stamp it on your passport?

Michael James: Did you find a job?
Victor Skakapopulis: Yeah, I got something at the striptease. I help the girls dress and undress.
Michael James: Nice job?
Victor Skakapopulis: Twenty francs a week.
Michael James: Not very much.
Victor Skakapopulis: It's all I can afford.

Posted by: Marcilo Jul 29 2009, 07:14 PM

Posted by: Faraaj73 Aug 27 2009, 04:02 PM

Spies Like Us (1985)
[Surrounded by Ninja warriors]
Emmett Fitz-Hume: Alright. Stop right there... and I'll bring back the sun. Okay...
[Shows a picture from his wallet]
Emmett Fitz-Hume: This is my sister. You can all have her. I hear she's very good.

European Vacation (1985)
Stewardess: Can I get you anything to drink?
Clark Griswold: Honey? I guess I'll have a Coke.
Stewardess: Do you want that in the can?
Clark Griswold: No, I'll have it right here.

Foul Play (1978)
[giving Gloria a rape alarm, a can of MACE and a knuckleduster]
Stella: Take these. Without them, you are a walking light-bulb... waiting to be screwed.

[Ethel and Elsie are playing Scrabble. Ethel has just put down the letters "-ucker", to which Elsie has added "muther-"]
Ethel: Wait, Elsie. I think you're wrong. I think you spell that word with a hyphen.

Fletch (1985)
[to Gail Stanwyck, who answers the door wearing a towel]
Fletch: Can I borrow your towel for a sec? My car just hit a water buffalo.

Gail Stanwyck: She looks like a hooker. Look at her. Look at her! Could you love someone who looked like that?
Fletch: What are you talking about? Of course not! Five, ten minutes tops, maybe.

[During a proctological exam]
Fletch: You using the whole fist, Doc?