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Classic Quotes

, Comedy Films (for now)

 
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> Classic Quotes, Comedy Films (for now)
Faraaj73
post Jul 16 2009, 04:02 PM
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This Is Spinal Tap (1984)
Riotously funny rockumentary with countless classic moments. Below are a few samples...

Marty DiBergi: David St. Hubbins... I must admit I've never heard anybody with that name.
David St. Hubbins: It's an unusual name, well, he was an unusual saint, he's not a very well known saint.
Marty DiBergi: Oh, there actually is, uh... there was a Saint Hubbins?
David St. Hubbins: That's right, yes.
Marty DiBergi: What was he the saint of?
David St. Hubbins: He was the patron saint of quality footwear.

[Nigel is playing a soft piece on the piano]
Marty DiBergi: It's very pretty.
Nigel Tufnel: Yeah, I've been fooling around with it for a few months.
Marty DiBergi: It's a bit of a departure from what you normally play.
Nigel Tufnel: It's part of a trilogy, a musical trilogy I'm working on in D minor which is the saddest of all keys, I find. People weep instantly when they hear it, and I don't know why.
Marty DiBergi: It's very nice.
Nigel Tufnel: You know, just simple lines intertwining, you know, very much like - I'm really influenced by Mozart and Bach, and it's sort of in between those, really. It's like a Mach piece, really. It's sort of...
Marty DiBergi: What do you call this?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, this piece is called "Lick My Love Pump".

Nigel Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...
Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?
Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.
Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?
Marty DiBergi: I don't know.
Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.
Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.
Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?
Nigel Tufnel: [long pause] These go to eleven.

Bobbi Flekman: You put a greased naked woman on all fours with a dog collar around her neck, and a leash, and a man's arm extended out up to here, holding onto the leash, and pushing a black glove in her face to sniff it. You don't find that offensive? You don't find that sexist?
Ian Faith: This is 1982, Bobbi, c'mon!
Bobbi Flekman: That's right, it's 1982! Get out of the '60s. We don't have this mentality anymore.
Ian Faith: Well, you should have seen the cover they *wanted* to do! It wasn't a glove, believe me.



Kind Regards
Faraaj



Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo

There is only one better thing than music - live music. - Jacek Bukowski

I hate music, especially when it's played. - Jimmy Durante

No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible. - W. H. Auden
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Faraaj73
post Jul 17 2009, 04:31 PM
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Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)

[Turgidson advocates a further nuclear attack to prevent a Soviet response to Ripper's attack]
General "Buck" Turgidson: Mr. President, we are rapidly approaching a moment of truth both for ourselves as human beings and for the life of our nation. Now, truth is not always a pleasant thing. But it is necessary now to make a choice, to choose between two admittedly regrettable, but nevertheless distinguishable, postwar environments: one where you got twenty million people killed, and the other where you got a hundred and fifty million people killed.
President Merkin Muffley: You're talking about mass murder, General, not war!
General "Buck" Turgidson: Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed. But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops. Uh, depending on the breaks.

[General Turgenson's phone rings in the war room]
General "Buck" Turgidson: Hello...
[whispering]
General "Buck" Turgidson: I told you never to call me here, don't you know where I am?... Well look, baby, I c-, I can't talk to you now... my president needs me!... Of course Bucky'd rather be there with you!... Of course it isn't only physical!... I deeply respect you as a human being... Some day I'm gonna make you Mrs Buck Turgidson!... Oh, listen uh, you go back to sleep hon, and Bucky'll be back there just as soon as he can... All right... listen, sug, don't forget to say your prayers!

[Strangelove's plan for post-nuclear war survival involves living underground with a 10:1 female-to-male ratio]
General "Buck" Turgidson: Doctor, you mentioned the ratio of ten women to each man. Now, wouldn't that necessitate the abandonment of the so-called monogamous sexual relationship, I mean, as far as men were concerned?
Dr. Strangelove: Regrettably, yes. But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious... service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.
Ambassador de Sadesky: I must confess, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor.



Kind Regards
Faraaj



Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo

There is only one better thing than music - live music. - Jacek Bukowski

I hate music, especially when it's played. - Jimmy Durante

No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible. - W. H. Auden
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simplefable
post Jul 17 2009, 04:58 PM
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the classic My Fair Lady...

Colonel Hugh Pickering: Are you a man of good character where women are concerned?
Professor Henry Higgins: Have you ever met a man of good character where women are concerned?
Colonel Hugh Pickering: Yes, very frequently.
Professor Henry Higgins: Well, I haven't. I find that the moment a woman makes friends with me she becomes jealous, exacting, suspicious, and a damn nuisance. And I find that the moment I make friends with a woman I become selfish and tyrannical. So here I am, a confirmed old bachelor and likely to remain so.

...............................................

Professor Henry Higgins: All right, Eliza, say it again.
Eliza Doolittle: The rine in spine sties minely in the pline.
Professor Henry Higgins: [sighs] The *rain* in *Spain* stays *mainly* in the *plain*.
Eliza Doolittle: Didn't ah sy that?
Professor Henry Higgins: No, Eliza, you didn't "sy" that, you didn't even "say" that. Now every night before you get into bed, where you used to say your prayers, I want you to say "The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain" fifty times. You'll get much further with the Lord if you learn not to offend His ears.

................................................


After silence that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
Aldous Huxley



"Waqt ne kiya...Kya haseen sitm...Tum rahe na tum..Hum rahe na hum.."



geetadutt

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Faraaj73
post Jul 17 2009, 05:17 PM
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QUOTE(simplefable @ Jul 17 2009, 09:28 PM) *

the classic My Fair Lady...


SF

You've picked two classic moments from this wonderful movie. Here is another riotously funny scene which I'm sure you remember! This is Eliza trying to be a lady...

Mrs. Eynsford-Hill: I do hope we wont have any unseasonable cold spells, they bring on so much influenza. And the whole of our family is succeptable to it.
Eliza Doolittle: My Aunt died of influenza, or so they said. But its my belief they done the old woman in.
Mrs. Higgins: Done her in?
Eliza Doolittle: Yes, lord love you. Why should she die of influenza, when she come through diptheria right enough the year before. Fairly blue with it she was. They all thought she was dead. But my father, he kept ladling gin down her throat. Then she come to so sudden she bit the bowl right off the spoon.
Mrs. Eynsford-Hill: Dear Me!
Eliza Doolittle: Now what call would a woman with that strength in her have to die of influenza? And what become of her new straw hat that should have come to me?
[pause]
Eliza Doolittle: Somebody pinched it. And what I say is: them 'as pinched it, done her in.
Lord Boxington: Done her in? Done her in did you say?
Lady Boxington: Whatever does it mean?
Mrs. Higgins: Its the new slang meaning someone has killed her.
Mrs. Eynsford-Hill: Surely you don't think someone killed her?
Eliza Doolittle: Do I not? Them she lived with would have killed her for a hatpin, let alone a hat.
Mrs. Eynsford-Hill: But it can't have been right for your father to be pouring spirits down her throat like that, it could have killed her.
Eliza Doolittle: Not her, gin was mother's milk to her. Besides he poured so much down his own throat, he knew the good of it.
Lord Boxington: Do you mean he drank?
Eliza Doolittle: Drank? My word something chronic.
[responding to Freddy's laughter]
Eliza Doolittle: Here! What are you sniggering at?
Freddy Eynsford-Hill: The new small talk, you do it so awfully well.
Eliza Doolittle: Well if I was doing it proper, what was you sniggering at? Have I said anything I oughtn't?
Mrs. Higgins: No my dear.
Eliza Doolittle: Well thats a mercy anyhow...


Kind Regards
Faraaj



Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo

There is only one better thing than music - live music. - Jacek Bukowski

I hate music, especially when it's played. - Jimmy Durante

No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible. - W. H. Auden
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mmuk2004
post Jul 18 2009, 07:08 AM
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Annie Hall (1977)

A modern "relationship" film : Allen's favorite theme:

Opening lines of the film: Woody Allen is Alvy Singer:

Alvy Singer: [addressing the camera] There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly. The... the other important joke, for me, is one that's usually attributed to Groucho Marx; but, I think it appears originally in Freud's "Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious," and it goes like this - I'm paraphrasing - um, "I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member." That's the key joke of my adult life, in terms of my relationships with women.




Alvy is jealous about Annie having an affair and confronts her:


Alvy Singer: Well, I didn't start out spying. I thought I'd surprise you. Pick you up after school.
Annie Hall: Yeah, but you wanted to keep the relationship flexible. Remember, it's your phrase.
Alvy Singer: Oh stop it, you're having an affair with your college professor, that jerk that teaches that incredible crap course, Contemporary Crisis in Western Man...
Annie Hall: Existential Motifs in Russian Literature. You're really close.
Alvy Singer: What's the difference? It's all mental masturbation.
Annie Hall: Oh, well, now we're finally getting to a subject you know something about.
Alvy Singer: Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
Annie Hall: We're not having an affair. He's married. He just happens to think I'm neat.
Alvy Singer: "Neat." What are you, 12 years old? That's one of your Chippewa Falls expressions.
Annie Hall: Who cares? Who cares?
Alvy Singer: Next thing you know, he'll find you keen and peachy, you know. Next thing you know, he's got his hand on your ass.
Annie Hall: You've always had hostility towards David, ever since I mentioned him.
Alvy Singer: Dav - you call your teacher David?
Annie Hall: It's his name.
Alvy Singer: It's a Biblical name, right? What does he call you, Bathsheba?



"Intellectual" flirtation:

Allison: I'm in the midst of doing my thesis.
Alvy Singer: On what?
Allison: Political commitment in twentieth century literature.
Alvy Singer: You, you, you're like New York, Jewish, left-wing, liberal, intellectual, Central Park West, Brandeis University, the socialist summer camps and the, the father with the Ben Shahn drawings, right, and the really, y'know, strike-oriented kind of, red diaper, stop me before I make a complete imbecile of myself.
Allison: No, that was wonderful. I love being reduced to a cultural stereotype.
Alvy Singer: Right, I'm a bigot, I know, but for the left.


Last Scene of the movie:

Alvy Singer: [narrating] After that it got pretty late, and we both had to go, but it was great seeing Annie again. I... I realized what a terrific person she was, and... and how much fun it was just knowing her; and I... I, I thought of that old joke, y'know, the, this... this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, uh, my brother's crazy; he thinks he's a chicken." And, uh, the doctor says, "Well, why don't you turn him in?" The guy says, "I would, but I need the eggs." Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships; y'know, they're totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and... but, uh, I guess we keep goin' through it because, uh, most of us... need the eggs.

This post has been edited by mmuk2004: Jul 18 2009, 07:13 AM



"This isn't right, this isn't even wrong."
Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958)

"There are no facts, only interpretations."
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

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Faraaj73
post Jul 18 2009, 08:15 AM
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QUOTE(mmuk2004 @ Jul 18 2009, 11:38 AM) *

Annie Hall (1977)

A modern "relationship" film : Allen's favorite theme:


Annie Hall was on TV earlier this week. One of Allen's best alongside Hannah and A Midsummer Nights. He was undoubtedly a comic genius. Here are some brilliant one-liners...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it by not dying.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

For some reason I'm more appreciated in France than I am back home. The subtitles must be incredibly good.

Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people - and kill 'em.

Man was made in God's image. Do you really think God has red hair and glasses?

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.



Kind Regards
Faraaj



Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo

There is only one better thing than music - live music. - Jacek Bukowski

I hate music, especially when it's played. - Jimmy Durante

No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible. - W. H. Auden
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simplefable
post Jul 18 2009, 09:56 AM
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Faraaj...My fair lady is my very first film where i recognized the beauty of movies..the entire script is riddled with funniest quotes...smile.gif
For your info...Madhavi is an out and out Woody Allen's fan. She wrote a wonderful commentary on the complete filmography of Allen in some other thread ! wink.gif

After silence that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
Aldous Huxley



"Waqt ne kiya...Kya haseen sitm...Tum rahe na tum..Hum rahe na hum.."



geetadutt

noorjehan

shamshadbegum

Anmol Fankaar
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Faraaj73
post Jul 18 2009, 05:55 PM
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QUOTE(simplefable @ Jul 18 2009, 02:26 PM) *

Faraaj...My fair lady is my very first film where i recognized the beauty of movies..the entire script is riddled with funniest quotes...smile.gif
For your info...Madhavi is an out and out Woody Allen's fan. She wrote a wonderful commentary on the complete filmography of Allen in some other thread ! wink.gif

SF

I remember as a student in London in the 90s, a digitised and fully restored version of My Fair Lady premiered. I attended the premiere which was a wonderful experience watching this classic film on the big screen. I had about 15 different versions (probably still do!) of the showstopper On the Street Where You Live...in fact I love the entire soundtrack.....

I didn't know Madhavi was such a Woody fan. All I knew was she had good taste (even though I'm not a Lubitsch fan tongue1.gif ) I also think Allen's great - a comic genius as I mentioned above....pls give me the link to her commentary if you find it....

I wish I had the time to write commentaries, reviews etc.....with work, family, friends, books, movies, music and a bit of sleep if I can catch it, life is too hectic unfortunately....I am going to the Hunter Valley tomorrow for a 5 day mini-vacation so in between bouts of wine tasting I hope to see some old classics I'm taking along....I'll send you the Viva Las Vegas song when I return.....heard it last night!!!


Kind Regards
Faraaj



Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo

There is only one better thing than music - live music. - Jacek Bukowski

I hate music, especially when it's played. - Jimmy Durante

No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible. - W. H. Auden
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simplefable
post Jul 18 2009, 07:08 PM
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Faraaj..here is the link where Madhavi did a fine job on Allen's movies .

http://www.hamaraforums.com/index.php?show...40396&st=30

Wow..wish you a fine vacation..sure you deserve it. smile.gif
Glad that you found the time to see the classics..nothing beats it, i guess. Please dont worry about the Las Vegas song..all in good time. smile.gif

After silence that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
Aldous Huxley



"Waqt ne kiya...Kya haseen sitm...Tum rahe na tum..Hum rahe na hum.."



geetadutt

noorjehan

shamshadbegum

Anmol Fankaar
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mmuk2004
post Jul 22 2009, 12:03 PM
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QUOTE(Faraaj73 @ Jul 18 2009, 07:25 AM) *

QUOTE(simplefable @ Jul 18 2009, 02:26 PM) *

Faraaj...My fair lady is my very first film where i recognized the beauty of movies..the entire script is riddled with funniest quotes...smile.gif
For your info...Madhavi is an out and out Woody Allen's fan. She wrote a wonderful commentary on the complete filmography of Allen in some other thread ! wink.gif

SF

I remember as a student in London in the 90s, a digitised and fully restored version of My Fair Lady premiered. I attended the premiere which was a wonderful experience watching this classic film on the big screen. I had about 15 different versions (probably still do!) of the showstopper On the Street Where You Live...in fact I love the entire soundtrack.....

I didn't know Madhavi was such a Woody fan. All I knew was she had good taste (even though I'm not a Lubitsch fan tongue1.gif ) I also think Allen's great - a comic genius as I mentioned above....pls give me the link to her commentary if you find it....

I wish I had the time to write commentaries, reviews etc.....with work, family, friends, books, movies, music and a bit of sleep if I can catch it, life is too hectic unfortunately....I am going to the Hunter Valley tomorrow for a 5 day mini-vacation so in between bouts of wine tasting I hope to see some old classics I'm taking along....I'll send you the Viva Las Vegas song when I return.....heard it last night!!!



You not Lubitsch fan I know, but I am going to try my power on persuasion on you... once I have some time ... sad1.gif And considering I am watching so many of the movies you recommended, you have to give me a fighting chance...( Have enjoyed every single movie you have recommended btw biggrin.gif. Next on the list is what you and SF have been promoting... ) Besides, you like Billy Wilder, so your level of discomfort with Lubitsch cannot be that serious... tongue1.gif

Enjoy your mini vacation in the meantime, I too am looking forward to mine, in August... Just cannot wait to get away from the Dallas summer smile1.gif




"This isn't right, this isn't even wrong."
Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958)

"There are no facts, only interpretations."
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

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Faraaj73
post Jul 23 2009, 02:52 PM
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Life of Brian (1979)
Tagline: A motion picture destined to offend nearly two thirds of the civilized world. And severely annoy the other third.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
Tagline: Makes Ben Hur look like an Epic

Minstrel: [singing] Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin. He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin. His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off and his penis...
Sir Robin: That's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads... looks like there's dirty work afoot.

French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

King Arthur: Old woman.
Dennis: Man.
King Arthur: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
Dennis: I'm 37.
King Arthur: What?
Dennis: I'm 37. I'm not old.
King Arthur: Well I can't just call you "man".
Dennis: Well you could say "Dennis".
King Arthur: I didn't know you were called Dennis.
Dennis: Well you didn't bother to find out did you?
King Arthur: I did say sorry about the "old woman", but from behind you looked...
Dennis: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior.
King Arthur: Well I am king.
Dennis: Oh, king eh? Very nice. And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.

King Arthur: I am your king.
Woman: Well I didn't vote for you.
King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.
Woman: Well how'd you become king then?
[Angelic music plays... ]
King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.
Dennis: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Dennis: Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.

Dingo: You must spank her well, and after you are done with her, you may deal with her as you like... and then... spank me.
All: And me. And me too. And me.
Dingo: Yes. Yes, you must give us all a good spanking.


Kind Regards
Faraaj



Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo

There is only one better thing than music - live music. - Jacek Bukowski

I hate music, especially when it's played. - Jimmy Durante

No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible. - W. H. Auden
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Marcilo
post Jul 24 2009, 02:07 AM
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Wow, you guys remember all the dialogues

- Just another gummy bear fan
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mmuk2004
post Jul 24 2009, 09:11 AM
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Nahin Re,

IMDB zindabad. tongue1.gif



"This isn't right, this isn't even wrong."
Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958)

"There are no facts, only interpretations."
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

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Faraaj73
post Jul 24 2009, 03:21 PM
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QUOTE(mmuk2004 @ Jul 24 2009, 01:41 PM) *

Nahin Re,

IMDB zindabad. tongue1.gif

Aaw come on Madhavi! We could have had so much fun with him for 2-3 days! You'll never be a good poker player!!! laugh.gif


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Faraaj



Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo

There is only one better thing than music - live music. - Jacek Bukowski

I hate music, especially when it's played. - Jimmy Durante

No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible. - W. H. Auden
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Faraaj73
post Jul 26 2009, 05:22 AM
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Some Cary Grant classics...

His Girl Friday (1940)
Hildy Johnson: I suppose I proposed to you?
Walter Burns: Well, you practically did, making goo-goo eyes at me for two years until I broke down.
[impersonates Hildy, flutters his eyelashes]
Walter Burns: "Oh, Walter." And I still claim I was tight the night I proposed to you. If you had been a gentleman, you would have forgotten all about it. But not you!
Hildy Johnson: [hurls her purse at him] Why, you - !
Walter Burns: [ducks and her purse barely misses him] You're losing your aim. You used to be able to pitch better than that.

Walter Burns: Look, Hildy, I only acted like any husband that didn't want to see his home broken up.
Hildy Johnson: What home?
Walter Burns: What home! Don't you remember the home I promised you?

Walter Burns: Sorta wish you hadn't done that, Hildy.
Hildy Johnson: Done what?
Walter Burns: Divorced me. Makes a fella lose all faith in himself. Gives him a... almost gives him a feeling he wasn't wanted.
Hildy Johnson: Oh, now look, junior... that's what divorces are FOR!



Kind Regards
Faraaj



Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo

There is only one better thing than music - live music. - Jacek Bukowski

I hate music, especially when it's played. - Jimmy Durante

No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible. - W. H. Auden
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